


Continuously

by steveandnat



Category: Black Widow (Comics), Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Captain America: The Winter Soldier, F/M, Falling In Love, Hurt Natasha Romanov, Natasha Romanov Feels, On the Run, Pining, Post-Avengers (2012), Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Pre-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Pre-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Pre-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Protective Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers Feels, The Avengers (2012) Compliant
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-26
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2019-08-29 14:15:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 34,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16745545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/steveandnat/pseuds/steveandnat
Summary: A nine part series exploring the development of Steve and Natasha's feelings for one another.Through the following: The Avengers (2012), Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier/Pre- Avengers: Age of Ultron, Avengers: Age of Ultron, Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron/Pre-Captain America: Civil War, Captain America: Civil War, Post-Captain America: Civil War/Pre- Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 & Post- Avengers: Infinity War Part 1.





	1. The Avengers

**Author's Note:**

> HI! I am extremely excited for this mini series and I hope you all are too! Just a heads up there will be NO Bruce/Natasha or Sharon/Steve.  
> This first chapter may be a bit shorter than the other being they did not explore Steve and Nat much in the original movie, but I put a spin on it, enjoy!  
> Notes at the bottom contain information on other stories (Baggage) :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Natasha meet for the first time as I put a spin on the events of the first Avengers movie to kick off their relationship. Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I twisted some things around just for some more depth as well as a preface for what is to come.

Steve was nervous. No. Steve was extremely nervous. Since getting out of the ice he’s had the same routine. Wake up at the crack of dawn and run miles through the city against the hustle and bustle of workers. When he finished running unthinkable amounts he came back to his bland shoe box of an apartment and made himself eggs. Finishing that off, he tried to fiddle with the television or learn to use the microwave and hours into still not understanding, he turned to his sketch pad as time slipped away. Sometime as the sun went down he’d try to settle into bed. If he was successful he’d fall asleep and wake up after a mere two hours. Steve didn’t have nightmares, his sleep was always dark and cold, kind of like the ice. So, when he woke up on minimum sleep he’d go to the small old styled gym and work out until he was physically going to fall over, and then do it all again. Today however was different. 

He was on a plane heading to some secret location to essentially save the world. The super soldier had been recruited for the Avengers Initiative, him and five other soldiers. Steve was somewhat happy about it, it was bitter sweet. Bitter in a sense an imitate threat was threatening to wipe human existence, but sweet to get out and do something with himself, with his second chance. As the pilot called out ‘touch down in two!’, Steve couldn’t help but ring his hands together.  
“Nervous?” A voice asked.  
Steve chuckled a bit.  
“A little.” He commented back timidly.  
“What for?” Coulson questioned.  
Phil looked up to Steve. He thought him some invincible hero and handling a god wielding a scepter was cake for him.  
“It’s a new time.” The blonde said as his lips pulled into a slim line.  
“We have resources to help you.” Phill responded.  
“Resources?” Steve asked confused.  
“Yes, your team. Doctor Banner, Agent Barton, Thor of Asgard, Mr, Stark, Agent Romanoff.” Coulson explained.  
Steve just nodded in response. He hasn’t met his team yet but from Coulson glowing about them he figured they were a good group of men. 

Feeling the rumble of the plane beneath him Steve concluded they’d landed as the loud hum of the engines stopped. As the ramp opened, Phill stood up and Steve took the hint to follow. As he stood on the pavement absorbing the chaos ensuing around him as people hurried to get tasks done. Steve’s eyes looked aimlessly around, he hasn’t seen this many people working in one place since the war. Just as his eyes had averted to an area of suited men fixing some mechanics of a jet, he herd Coulson speak:

“Captain Rogers there’s someone I’d like you to meet.”  
Steve turned. His eyes locked with a gorgeous redhead roaming toward them. She donned a leather jacket and the tightest pants he’s ever seen with a gun strapped to her thigh.  
“Ma’am.” He said respectfully doing his best to catch his breath.  
He was never spectacular with women, but he’s never seen one with such beauty, to say he was freaking out was an understatement.  
“Hi.” She said grumbly.  
And fuck, if the shivers down his spine are indication of how he’s feeling, he’s a dead man.  
“You can escort Captain Rogers?” Coulson asked the woman.  
She nods.  
She begins to walk and Steve quickly follows.  
“Steve Rogers.” He says extending his hand.  
She eyes him suspiciously and takes it.  
“I know when you came out I thought Coulson was gonna swoon.” She joked.  
I think I’m gonna swoon. He thought.  
“Big things happening here Rogers, you sure you’re ready?” She asked looking out to the madness around them.  
“Eh.” He shrugged sheepishly.  
The red haired beauty turned to look at him.  
“Well Captain, it may be a different time but we’re still fighting for those who can’t.” She said honestly. 

The words shook Steve. She wasn’t wrong, almost like she understood what he was feeling, like he was right there living in his mind, telling him what he needed to hear. The thing is he knew that she wasn’t saying it to ease his mind, she was saying it because it was truth. It was admirable. 

He smiled softly at her to which her eyes twinkled the slightest.  
“I never caught your name.” He admits.  
“I’m Agent Romanoff, you can call me Natasha.” She states.  
Steve’s mouth gapes. Not that he had an issue with a woman he just hadn’t expected it. This woman must be fierce and the best, and she would prove just that.  
/  
Steve learned a bit on his time with shield in just some time. Gods walked on earth, Starks son invented a flying suit, green monsters are real, Barton was compromised, and Natasha- Agent Romanoff, is remarkable. 

She knew things left and right, people seemed to practically piss their pants as she walked by and Steve was intimated, but intrigued. It was odd really he didn’t feel this way ever, not even after he first met Peggy. No. He stopped himself. Being attracted to an employee certainly got a check mark in the ‘inappropriate for the workplace’ column, and a trip to Human Resources. Steve shook his shoulders and he continued to engage in the conversation they were having at the round table, as he kept his eyes away from Agent Romanoff. Steve has confronted Loki not too long ago and he was now in custody as they regrouped, and decided how to asses the situation.  
“Someone needs to talk to him, Thor?” Fury spat.  
“No. He won’t listen to me, it’ll make it worse. My brothers always envied me, my presence will only push him more.” Thor shook his head.  
Fury nodded in response as he looked around the room. Fury’s eyes landed on each of them.  
Stark, too arrogant. Rogers, too nice. Banner, too shaky. When his eyes landed on Natasha he lit up.  
“Romanoff. Engage with Loki as you please, get what we need.” He instructed.  
“Affirmative sir.” She said rising from her seat. 

Therefore, the meeting was adjourned as everyone stood. Natasha did not appear to falter at the request, something in Steve didn’t sit right. The pit of his stomach hurt as he grew concerned for her, because they’re teammates, he kept telling himself. Natasha went to exit the room when Steve lightly gripped her arm.  
“Good luck Agent.” He said.  
She smirked.  
“I don’t need luck Rogers.” as she walked away.  
Steve couldn’t help but smile at that.  
“You be careful with that one.” Stark said behind him.  
Steve turned and feigned confusion.  
“She’s got a talent at getting the best of us, she’s dangerous territory.” Tony explained.  
Steve rolled his eyes and scoffed as he walked away.  
/  
Natasha came racing in the room leaving her meeting with Loki.  
“The hulk. That’s his weakness.” She said to the group.  
Before anyone had the chance to respond or even react and explosion went off. 

Glass shards flew everywhere as everyone’s body was pushed on impact. Acting on impulse Steve went to reach for Natasha but she had been too far, and Steve was too late. She was on the floor curled into a ball and the room shifted to a dangerous red hue as the emergency lights were flashing. Steve brushed off injuries quick, he felt nothing more than having a paper cut. It’s not that Natasha was defenseless it wasn’t that at all. It’s just that Steve had the super serum helping with healing, Tony could have that suit on faster than he could blink, Bruce had the other guy to keep him safe from injury, and Thor was a fucking god. Not to mention he was unsure how much protection her skin tight catsuit provides, though he did not mind the view one bit. Racing over to her fiddle positioned form she groaned loudly.  
“Romanoff.” He said shaking her.  
She groaned again until her green blue eyes snapped open to meet his.  
“You’re alright?” He assessed her with concern as he aided her up.  
Gripping her head a bit she nodded. 

“Banners gone.” Thor announces.  
Everyone turns to him. Fuck. The explosion. The noise. It brought out the other guy.  
“Shit! Romanoff!” Fury yelled.  
Natasha shook and pulled herself better best she could.  
“On it.” She said boating away, doing her best to keep the balance.  
“Director don’t you think Agent Romanoff may not be fit to-“ Steve began.  
Nick cut him off abruptly.  
“Stark and Rogers handle the damage done to the left wing of the jet. Thor you go in for any back up needed with the other guy. Move!” Fury yelled as he ran off to god knows where. 

Steve obeyed his orders and ran to the instructed location. He was unsure how much help he would really be since he couldn’t fly like Tony but aided regardless. Sometime in her began hearing clambering through his ears along with grunts. After being appointed Captain of the Avengers he made it standard each member carry a comm link for line of communication.  
“Does anyone copy?” Steve asked in his ear.  
“I am approaching the bay.” He heard Thor say.  
“Wrapping up out here.” Tony stated.  
“Romanoff?” Steve asked worried.  
All he got in response was more grumbles and bangs.  
“It’s the other guy he’s not... he’s... it’s not...” her voice became static and choppy in his ear before shutting off in silence.  
“Natasha!” Steve yelped like a lost puppy.  
“Captain you get Romanoff I’ll finish up.” Tony called back.  
Silently Steve left and ran off to their location.  
/  
Natasha’s leg felt crushed. It was stuck under god knows what type of metal as she desperately clutched at the floor to get out from under it. Bruce began to turn an ugly shade of green as he began to heave. 

“Bruce.” Natasha pleaded, no begged.  
Just then she heard Steve’s voice in her ear. Steve.

It was hard to explain exactly how she felt about Steve. Stark was an arrogant ass who means well. Thor was an innocent man who had an iron fist when needed. Bruce was a shy scientist, while his alter ego was a maniac. Her best friend and partner Clint (who happened to be compromised), well he was her family. She was his kids godmother for heaven's sake. Then there was Steve, or Captain Rogers. He blushed easily, tried hard to keep up with the modern era, while he led a team with resilience. Steve isn’t the kind of person Natasha usually get along with, but shockingly she does. The spy has an inkling that her weaknesses are his strengths, and vice versa. However, she didn’t have time to define how she felt about the blonde super soldier, she was in a tight situation and emotions weren’t something she really runs with. 

Just as she felt her comm go dead in her ear, the Hulk shifted his cold gaze upon her. Shit. In an instant she managed to pull her leg out from under her and she did her best to navigate around the area like a god damned jungle gym. Swinging on bars, jumping from place to place, all while running with a somewhat limp leg. Just as she thought she was home free his large hands clutched her ankle roughly tossing her against the wall like she was rag doll. 

Trying her best to recover from the blow, she used her arms to hoist herself into sitting position. That’s when she saw the Hulk lift his hand to back hand her, closing her eyes, knowing she was stuck, she prepared for impact. That is when someone threw him into a wall. She breathed a sigh of relief for Thor, knowing he was the one who did it. She attempted to stand, to get up and help, but she wasn’t ready yet. She needed to catch her breath, level her head. The last thing Nick and Phil needed was a compromised Barton and an injured Romanoff. Shutting her eyes again, she leans her head against the wall in support. Just as she is finally getting back into a steady rhythm of breaths and soothing her heart beats she hears the clang of boots along the ramp. Prying open one eyes, she sees the source of the noise. Fuck. 

Silently getting up, she tiptoes behind the figure. Just as she believes she has the upper hand, he turns. She’s good at what she does, but after all he is her partner.  
“I don’t wanna do this Clint.” She says exasperated.  
She searches his eyes for something, anything. But all that stares back is the cold icy shade that leave no recollection of the Clint Barton she knows. 

In a swift moment he pulls out an arrows and aims at her, she ducks and swings his legs out from under him. She pins him to the ground and shakes him a bit.  
“Come on Barton. This isn’t you. This isn’t the guy that spends his weekends feeding goats with his kids, or making coffee for his wife.” She tells him.  
Then she sees a flash of something in his eyes, but it’s not enough. The blue returns as he throws Natasha to the ground. Recovering quickly, she pushed herself off and bashes his head into the pole hoping she can knock it out of him. He falls for a moment, catching himself, until he looks up to her. The blue fading.  
“Nat?” He mumbles.  
She looks over him sadly. The blue is faint, but still there. For good measure she regretfully clocks him in the face as he toppled over in defeat. 

Natasha then studies him. The sheen of sweat over him, his contoured forehead even when he was unresponsive. Clint Barton, husband, father of two, her partner, was just put through hell. And she can’t help but feel like she could have done more. 

Natasha feels herself letting go. Her chin wobbles as her nose begins to burn and her vision blurs. Just as the first tear is going to escape she hears running from behind her, not daring to turn someone stands next to her.  
“You alright?” They ask.  
It’s unmistakably Rogers and the worst part is she doesn’t know whether to answer honestly or just brush it off. It’s conflicting really, if it had been anyone else she would have scoffed and said she had it under control. But Rogers was something else, she just didn’t know what yet.  
“We have to get him restrained before he wakes up.” She states evading the question all together.  
Steve nods and throws Clint over his shoulder like he weighs nothing. Natasha leads the way knowing Steve has no idea the parameters of the jet. When they reach the room he places Clint down as Natasha reluctantly shackles him.  
“Loki’s gone.” Steve finally speaks.  
“Coulson said he’s headed for the city and we should suit up.” He says almost as if it’s an order.  
Natasha’s head snaps at him, her eyes cold. But, Steve wasn’t done speaking.  
“You have time though. Do your best to calm down, be here when he wakes up.” Steve assures.  
Natasha’s eyes soften as she slumps over on the bench across from him. Steve steps over and sits next to her. 

He turns to face her, but she doesn’t do the same, her eyes glued to the floor.  
“I know what it’s like.” He begins.  
“Losing someone. Knowing you could have done more, questioning over and over if the tiniest thing had been different could you have saved them.” He says.  
“It took me waking up in another time seventy years later to finally realize I can’t do that. Living like that is like living in hell. Recounting the worst events, taunting yourself for what could have been. The truth is I’ve realized things go on, life goes on. Living in regret is only going to make things worse.” He explains.  
Natasha’s eyes finally meet his and his breath hitches.  
“Barton’s gonna wake up. I can’t tell you what state he’ll be in, how much he’ll remember. But I’ll tell you this, he’s gonna wake up. That’s something I never got, the assurance of knowing that.” Steve says.  
Natasha nods a bit.  
“He’s my best friend,” She begins. 

And god Steve has no idea why but he feels like smiling. Best friend. The whole time everyone has speculation about their relationship and yeah she could be lying, but Steve was almost positive she wasn’t. However, Natasha Romanoff would probably always be, and always wanted to be his teammate. So he pushed this aside to let her finish. 

“I mean, he saved me. He didn’t have to, but he did.” The redhead states.  
Steve can tell there’s more to it, but doesn’t press.  
“Then save him. Repay the debt.” Steve tells her seriously.  
She nods as her eyes roam and trace Clint’s sedated state.  
Boldly, Steve grabs her hand and to his shock, and hers, she doesn’t make a move to pull away. His hand feels nice against hers, almost safe.  
“He’ll be okay Natasha.” Steve assures and he almost promises it. He thinks if he could promise this woman the world he would.  
Again she nods as he gives her hand a gentle squeeze. He stands up and offers her a sad smile.  
“I gotta go suit up. Take all the time you need.” He tells her.  
“Okay.” She speaks with a ghost of a smile on her lips.  
Why the hell did Steve Rogers make her feel so much more than a weapon?  
/  
Steve sat in the jet with his fellow five teammates, all of them strapped in and ready for touchdown.  
Thor, like Steve was having understanding each of his fellow avengers.  
“The captain was injected with a serum to enhance his features? Stark has created a flying, iron suit? Banned got shot with a form of radiation, so Lady Natasha you...” Thor wondered.  
“I don’t have an special abilities Thor. Just myself.” She teased lightly. 

Steve’s ears perked at this. Natasha was incredibly agile and skilled, he had figured she must have some variation of his serum. He’s sure he could find out where she got the training but in all honesty he couldn’t bring himself too. 

When he first arrived on the jet he got a small room with a cot and a table. On this table had been five files which consisted of information on his teammates. He read Starks out of pure curiosity of the fact that he was Howard’s son. He skimmed through Bruce’s (more specifically the section titled ‘Hulk’) to know what he was dealing with. Thor’s file wasn’t big at all and Steve just read it to intact confirm this man was a god. Next had been Barton’s to which he read the most recent reports in death being he was compromised and under mind control. At the bottom of the bunch was Natasha. Her file was the biggest of them all, and Steve opened it with much apprehension. A majority of her file appeared to be long texts with black lines blocking key words and sentences. His eyes skimmed over the top.  
Natalia Alianovna Romanova.  
Steve liked her birth name even more than the one she currently went by.  
Birth Date.  
As Steve continued to read he noticed her birth date blank and labeled ‘N/A’. Feeling oddly dirty for opening it in the first place he quickly closed it and shoved it into the drawer. Anything he needed to know about her she would tell him if she pleases he respected the fact. 

Before anyone could interrogate the spy further Barton called out from the pilots seat.  
“Cap and Nat get ready to jump. Tony you and Thor can fly out while I land the jet with Banner.” Clint instructed.  
They all nodded. Natasha got up to get her parachute. She groaned loudly.  
“Who the hell forgets to restock these things? You’d think saving the world could at least get you a parachute.” She grunts.  
Just as she turns she sees Tony and Thor hop out of the jet.  
“Looks like you’re stuck with me Barton.” She says sitting.  
Steve approached the door.  
“Rogers?” She asked.  
“You’re gonna jump without a parachute?” She said confused.  
He shrugged.  
“What’s the fun in that.” He says.  
Natasha’s mouth dropped open.  
“Care to join me?” He asks extending his hand.  
She chuckles.  
“It’s now or never Nat, we’re over drop point.” Clint calls.  
Rolling her eyes, she grabs Steve’s hand.  
He pulls her flush against him as she wraps her arms around his neck tightly. He sheepishly grabs her hips and jumps.  
Natasha yelps at first as the wind blows against the pair. 

Moments later they land.  
“Fun right?” He asks.  
“Thrilling.” She teases pushing hair from her face.  
Looking ahead of them they see the rubble and destruction already ensued.  
“Come on Cap, lets go save the world.” She says running off.  
/  
Battling next to him was like dancing. Natasha hadn’t danced since she lived in Russia or even felt the same rush when she did. Sure, fighting next to Clint worked, they worked well together, but with Steve it was different. He pushed, she pulled, he ducked, she leaped. It was like they were made to fight alongside each other and together they were efficient and  
just as effective as the Hulk. Just as Natasha took down a robot she heard someone yell.  
“Romanoff!” Clint yelled.  
Looking up she saw the flames falling from the sky. In an instant a body grabbed her and crouched his disk of a shield, as her body folded into his. Clint eyed her suspiciously, surprised she’d let someone touch her so intimately and publicly.  
“Thanks Cap.” She breathes turning to land a blow into an incoming robot. Steve smiled, this time he wasn’t too late.  
/  
The fighting continued. Sometime in the group had disappeared leaving Steve alone with Natasha. A loud thrum from above pulled him from his current defense. A passing by floating contraption, occupied by robots raced by.  
“I could use a boost.” Natasha called.  
He looked over, her face stained with blood, her voice strained.  
He noticed Natasha’s eyes locked to his shield and then he realized what she was thinking.  
“You sure about this?” Steve asked apprehensively.  
“Yeah. It’ll be fun.” She states.  
Steve knows not to test her and oddly enough he trusts that she knows what she’s doing. 

Steve vends his knees and hold his shield out flat. Natasha runs and leaps gracefully stop a car then using the leverage onto his shield, the pair moved in sync. With perfect timing he flings her up like a rubber band and he gapes in aw as she successfully grips the chitauri.  
He didn’t think this woman would ever fail to surprise him.  
/  
It was over. Loki lost. The scepter was safe, and Loki was to be taken back to Asgard to be tried. Steve and his fellow Avengers all stood around bidding goodbyes. Thor was off to Asgard, Banned needed time to himself, Tony announced he was working on a big project (making Natasha scoff), and Clint was in recovery. As for Steve he had no idea what he was going to to next, and neither did Natasha. 

Steve sat on his motorcycle not sure where he was going next, just staring into the horizon.  
“Penny for your thoughts?” A soft voice asked.  
Steve laughed, if she knew what he was thinking she would probably sock him in the head.  
“Just figuring out where to go next. What are your plans?” He asks.  
“Not sure I’m in business for a partner.” She says raising her brows.  
Steve eyes Clint suspiciously who is loading up a car. A silence creeps over the pair and Natasha breaks it.  
“You were good at there.” She compliments  
He blushed a bit.  
“We were good out there.” He corrects.  
Natasha chuckles.  
“Yeah I guess we were.” She comments.  
Steve stares into her green eyes searching for anything. The look she gave was one he knew all too well. She was lost and confused not sure where to go, not sure where her place in the world was. She was without Coulson permanently, and Clint indefinitely. Almost like when he awoke without Bucky by his side. Her eyes mirrored his own. Then he lit up with an idea.  
“You’re in business for a partner?” He asks.  
She bites her lip nervously.  
“You might be in the wrong business Rogers.” She says in a light tone.  
Steve shakes his head.  
“I don’t know what shields all about but saving the world next you, won’t be so bad.” He jokes.  
“Is that so?” She teases back.  
“Yeah.” He says seriously.  
“I don’t know Rogers. I’m more than meets the eye.” She says training her eyes down and head downcast as well.  
“We all are. So what do you say partner?” He asks hopeful.  
She bites her lip again.  
“I say let’s get this show on the road.” She responds.  
Steve beams and Natasha can’t help but grin herself.  
Before either can say anything a loud whistle sounds, Natasha’s hand goes to her thigh where her gun is.  
Turning she sees Clint waving with a smile from the driver's seat. Natasha smiles and holds up her hand back as he drives away.  
Turning back to Steve, he revs his engine.  
“Need a lift?” He asks.  
Natasha nods as he hands her a helmet. Slipping it on she places herself on the bike, and snakes her arm around him.  
“Where to?” He asks over his shoulder.  
“Brooklyn.” She says as he feels  
her grin against his shirt.  
Steve smiles to himself too as the pair rides off opening a new chapter in their life, as partner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Review, review, review! Next up Captain America: The Winter Soldier, a year into the pairs partnership as shield falls.


	2. Captain America: The Winter Soldier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fast forward a year from the previous chapter to the events of The Winter Soldier. Steve and Natasha develop as partners as one comes to terms with their feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was incredibly fun to write and thank you all for the support on the last chapter. I hope you enjoy my take on how things should have gone!

Steve and Natasha becoming partners was probably the most positive change in both of their lives. Steve no longer woke up dreading his day, not just doing enough to get by. While Natasha actually felt comfort around someone besides Clint who was home with his family. 

Not only were the pair partners, but they were friends. At least that’s what one told the other. There were random acts of touching and lots of cuddling but each told themselves it meant nothing to the other even though it did. Mean a lot. 

They hang out outside of work, in fact they spend more time together than they do alone. Natasha quiet liked the comfort of Steve’s couch and Steve quiet liked the comfort of Natasha. They’d do random things. Natasha would catch Steve up on what he was missing, they’d watch movies, get take out, sometimes even go out to eat, or just train together. They went on runs with one another just about every morning since neither could ever sleep, but today Natasha has been called in by Fury for whatever reason. Though Steve wishes she were there he ran alongside (or past) a man named Sam he often saw around.   
/  
Natasha sleepily entered the elevator as it granted her access to Nicks floor. Lazily walking out from the ding Nick looked up at her from the stack of paperwork his eye was trained on moments ago.   
“Good Morning Natasha.” He said.   
“Morning.” She mummers as she runs a hair through her hair.   
“I have a mission for you.” He tells her as he slide over the file to her.   
She picks it up, suddenly feeling more awake. Scanning it quickly as few words stand out to her.   
Hostages.   
Lemurian Star.   
Batroc.   
Strike Team.   
Captain Rogers.   
“Sir if this is a strike team mission being overseen by Rogers shouldn’t he be briefed too?” She said confused.   
Fury’s lips pull into a straight line.   
“You have a different mission.” He tells her pulling out a separate file. 

Inside are plans of the ship, a hard drive, and schematics. She looks up to him puzzled.   
“What is this?” The spy grimaces.   
“There’s things on that ship that I need. Your job is to retrieve it.” He instructs her.   
Natasha shakes her head to herself.   
“With all do respect sir, I don’t feel comfortable accepting this mission if my own team isn’t informed.” She tells him.   
“Since when were you such a team player Romanoff?” He challenges.   
That pisses her off. More than he will know.   
“If you want whatever is on that damn ship you get it yourself.” She spits.   
Nick rolls his eye.   
“You don’t get to do that. Give me orders. You’re in no position to be insubordinate after that stunt you pulled in Ibiza.” He challenges.   
She sighs. A month ago her and Steve were sent there to retrieve some intel on a human trafficking ring. Natasha and Steve had been undercover to get to the bottom of it. Along the way Natasha found remnants of hydra activity which was odd, and her only instruction was to not inform Rogers of it. She did just that. Steve deserves to know that his first enemies could still be roaming the earth, and the council found out that Natasha shared such information. All hell was released on her putting her on tight restrictions and probation. Steve apologized to her time and time again, but Natasha waved him off, he had nothing to be sorry for. After the fact the council deemed the evidence a hydra copy cat and nothing to worry about, but it was still all so weird to her. 

“You don’t do this, not only will I be pissed. But this will be reported to the council and they’ll lock you up for disobeying orders and so you can’t tell anyone all the information you know.” Fury tells her.   
Her shoulders slump in defeat.   
She grabs the file and Fury smiles now that she agreed. Just as Natasha turns to leave Nick speaks.   
“Not a word of this to Rogers.” He says seriously.   
Natasha just stares at him, her face void of expression and her eyes cold. As the elevator door closes. Fury huffs out a breathe scared for what is to happen.   
He knows Natasha would compromise herself for Rogers.   
/  
Natasha types out a text to Steve about the mission and adds a smiley face to the end for good measure, knowing it’ll make him turn a deep shade of red. Natasha revved the engine to her car as her knuckles turned white from gripping the wheel so hard.   
Lying to anyone? Cake.   
Lying to Steve? Not that simple. 

Steve was Natasha’s partner and she knew for a fact he wouldn’t lie to her and all she wanted was to do the same for him. Then the thoughts come of her being unemployed and tempted to go back to the dark side, or worse, locked up and beat everyday until she swore never to expose shields secrets. Natasha continued to drive as her knuckles physically hurt from the amount of force her grip had. Minutes later she arrived in front of the capital just where Steve was. Plastering on a fake smile, she rolled down the window.   
/  
Steve had just finished running as him and Sam Wilson engaged in small talk. The pair was interrupted from a beep on Steve’s phone. Fumbling with the small device he pulled it out of his pocket and read the message. He blushed deeply and did his best not to smile when he noted the smiley face at the end of the text.   
“Texting your girl?” Sam asked from under the tree.   
Steve chuckled.   
“I wish.”   
Before the conversation carried on further he heard the familiar buzz of Natasha’s engine as she pulled up to the curb.   
“Hey boys.” She began.   
“Any of you know where this Smithsonian is? I’m here to pick up a fossil.” She joked.   
Steve laughed.   
“Very funny.” He dead panned starting for her car.   
“She’s outta your league.” Sam said next to Steve, drooling.   
“And don’t I know it.” Steve whispered back before waving to him and jogging to her sports car. 

Steve plopped down next to her and offered a smile. She gave one back and Steve noticed her falter a bit knowing something was off.   
“Hey Nat.” He said softly.   
“Rogers.” She said under her breath and took off along the streets.   
/  
Rumlow had just briefed the group and Steve couldn’t help but eye Natasha specifically throughout the session. She was acting off, she was nervously gnawing the ends of her nails and averting Steve’s eye contact at any cost. When Rumlow called for them to break Natasha hurried to the back, and Steve followed quickly behind. 

He found her searching through the small armory and strapping guns and knives to herself and utility belt. Steve made his presence known by saying hi, but Natasha didn’t answer just smiled. 

Natasha was an idiot. Steve knew when she was being off, and she was definitely acting off, so to try to maintain normalcy she spoke.   
“Busy after work?” She asked turning to him.   
Steve turned to her and his face brightened.   
“Besides taking you out? No.” He smiled  
Nat couldn’t help but grin back.   
“I dunno Rogers you might not wanna pull that thread.” She said shaking her head.   
Then Steve turned serious to her.   
“Why do you keep doubting yourself? Doubting how wonderful you are, how good of a partner you are.” He asked her coming closer.   
She looked down from his eyes and focused on the clip of her belt.   
“I’m not a good partner.” She said.   
“Yes you are!” He fought back.   
“I’m not!” She yelled over him her eyes snapping to meet his.   
“I’m just not.” She finished in a low voice her eyes glassy.  
“Nat. What’s going on?” He tried.   
She sighed loudly and ran her hand over her face.   
“I can’t tell you.” She whispered.   
“Yes you can. You can tell me anything.” The soldier assured her.   
“I just can’t it won’t be good for either of us if I do.” The redhead said quickly.   
“Okay. I don’t want this to effect with the performance of the mission, I can’t have you getting hurt or worse, when your heads somewhere else.” He said worried.   
“It’s the mission that’s what bothering me.” She admitted.   
“Oh?” Steve said puzzled.   
It was a pretty standard mission. Something they’ve ran multiple times.   
“It’s an easy mission Nat, get the hostages, get out.” He explained.   
“No.” She said harshly  
“We don’t have the same mission.” Natasha said with a shaky voice.   
“What?” The soldier said confused.   
“Fury he called me in this morning and assigned it to me, I declined but he said stuff would happen if I didn’t do it.” She said vaguely.   
“Stuff?”   
“I’m on double secret probation from what happened in Ibiza if I don’t do this the council is gonna come after me.” She whispered.   
“Oh Nat, I’m sorry, it’s-“ he began.   
She stopped him by placing a hand on his arm.   
“Don’t apologize Steve, please don’t. Just promise me two things.” She pleaded.   
“Anything.”   
“You can’t tell anyone, okay? My only order was to not inform anyone, especially you. If Nick finds out you know I’ll be locked up faster than you can blink.” She started.   
Steve nodded.   
“And promise me you won’t hate me. I didn’t wanna do this. I haven’t wanted to keep a secret from you since we started working together.” She said as her head was downcast and her hair over her face.   
Steve reached out a gloved hand and pushed her hair back.   
“I know Nat. I could never hate you. Do what you need to do, I’ll be here.” He said pulling her into a hug.   
She complied by snaking her arms around him.   
“Drop in two!” They heard Rumlow yell.   
Nat stepped back and smiled sadly.   
“Guess that’s our go.” She said.   
Steve nodded, as they walked forward to the cabin.   
/  
The op had been successful. Natasha got what she needed and all the hostages were safe. Natasha was a bit sore from the impact of the explosion as she hobbled over to the jet. Steve seemed alright too, he seemed normal, like it was any other day which relieved her. He has already asked her about four times if she felt okay, so things were going per usual. As she boarded the jet she was bombarded by a very annoyed Rumlow.   
“What the fuck was that Romanoff!” He spat.   
Natasha feigned ignorance.   
“I don't know what you’re talking about Rumlow.” She said innocently.   
“You know exactly what I’m talking about bitch! You were called eight times over the comms for back up and you never turned up.” He continued ranting.   
Natasha was capable of handling herself. Very capable of it, so she stepped closer to Rumlow, when they were interrupted.   
“Rumlow that’s no way to talk to a woman.” Steve said from behind.   
Natasha rolled her eyes. She had this.   
Rumlow chuckled deeply.   
“I see. You can get away with whatever you want cause you’re fucking the Captain. Well played Rogers none of us thought you could get close enough without getting your head ripped off.” Rumlow explains.   
Natasha is fuming at this point. And Steve, being Steve, feels the need to defend her honor.   
However, Natasha doesn’t stick around for the conversation as she storms off in a hurry. Steve glares at Rumlow and follows behind.

He is meant by a closed door to the med bay, when he turns the knob it’s locked so he knocks gently.   
“Nat.” He says softly.   
“Not now Rogers I have things I need to tend to.” He hears her through the door.   
“Let me help.” He commands.   
He hears light footsteps as the door swings open.   
“I don’t need your help!” She tells as she slams it again in his face.   
He sighs heavily. He hates when she does this, shut herself out to everyone. He knows the best thing he can do it give it time.   
/  
Natasha raced off the jet. Steve knows, he looked for her. Scolding himself for missing his chance he remembers he always has later and he can always call. Bless modern technology. So, as Steve rides home on his Harley the second he pulls up to his apartment he takes out his phone and dials just about the only number he makes use of. After four rings, the line clicks, but no one says anything.   
“Nat?” He asks.   
“Yeah?” She squeaks.   
“I’m sorry.” Steve apologizes, as he walks into the building.   
He hears a sigh in his ear.   
“No I am. Rumlow a douche and neither of us should have to deal with him.” She says.   
Steve laughs.   
“You’re not wrong but still.” He says again.   
Steve begins climbing the steps.   
“It’s no problem Steve, you were doing what was right. Plus, I can’t be mad, not after what happened on the mission.” She said scolding herself.   
“You couldn’t help it. I understand, it was an order.” He says.   
A pause happens on the phone.   
“I know Steve. You just have to know I didn’t wanna go through without, and if it were up to me you’d at least have been officially informed.” Nat explains.   
Steve is about to answer when he hears it. The hum of music through the door of his apartment. It’s so weird, he barely uses the record player, never mind leaving it on while away on an op.   
“Steve?” He hears her ask.   
He shakes his head as he pulls out his key.   
“Yeah I’m here. And I know Nat, don’t stress please.” The blonde assures as the lock clicks.   
“Okay.” She breathes.   
Silence again.   
“Natasha.” He whispers.   
“Mhm.” She mumbles.   
“I think someone’s in my apartment.” He says.   
“What?” She asks.   
“Just if I didn’t answer and you hear anything weird.” He says.   
“If you need back up I can be there in five Cap.” She assures.   
He smiles a bit.   
“No, I may just be silly. Stay on the line please.”   
“Of course.” Nat answers.   
Steve opens the door as the music grows louder, as he tiptoes around the corner he sees none other than Nick Fury in his recliner. The pair just stare at one another until Fury brings a hand to his lips.   
“Steve?” He hears shaking him from his trance.   
“I gotta go, we’ll talk later.” He replied numbly clicking the hang up button.   
“What the hell are you doing here?” He asks.   
/  
Steve’s head was spinning. His ears ringing still after the shots fired in Nicks chest. His mind was racing and the only thing he had managed to do was shoot Natasha a text to get to the hospital as soon as she could. 

He stood looking into the window as the doctors went to work on Nick. His heartbeat was steady for now but he was losing blood and fast. Natasha raced into the room and looked through the glass as a noise of pain escaped her lips. Agent Hill shut her eyes sadly at this. Natasha didn’t say anything just leaned her hands against the small sill. Within the next minute things took a turn for the worst as Fury’s heartbeat became weaker and weaker. Steve grabbed Natasha’s hands as her chin began to quiver. He gave it a tight squeeze as the machine flatlined.   
/  
Natasha was sad, no she was heartbroken. When Loki took control of Clint’s mind it was difficult, but she got him back and he is on the road to recovery. Coulson dying hurt Natasha too, but knowing she had Clint and Nick to confide in meant a lot to her. Now, Nick Fury, one of the only men she connected to the word family was gone. 

His body laid out in front of her as a tear slipped down her cheek. She placed her hand over his now cold head, for god knows how long, until voice broke the painful silence.   
“Natasha.” He spoke.   
Sniffling to hold back tears, she swiftly exited the room before they could talk.   
“Look I’m sorry.” He offers.   
She looks at him.   
“What was Fury doing in your apartment?” She interrogates.   
Steve shrugs, playing stupid.   
“You’re a terrible liar.” She says sad and frustrated with a frown on her lips as she storms off.   
Steve huffs a breath placing his hands on his hips. He wants to go after her, tell her it’ll be alright, that’s he’s here. But Fury said trust no one, and every bone in his body screamed to catch her but the words.   
Trust no one.   
Race over in his head as he turns to the vending machine looking at the flash drive like it’s his life line.   
/  
Pop!   
Steve stares at Natasha’s reflection.   
His eyes aimlessly search the hallway as he sees tenants and doctors race by, he forcefully grabs Natasha’s shoulders and pushes her into a nearby room.   
“You came.” He smiles the slightest bit as his hands remain on her shoulders.   
“I think I know who killed Fury.” She offers.   
Steve eyes her suspiciously.   
“Most the intelligence community doesn’t believe he exists. The ones that do call him the Winter Soldier. He’s credited with two dozen assassinations within the last fifty years.” She starts.   
“So he’s a ghost story?” Steve interrupts.   
Natasha continues to tell the story about her time in Odessa as she lifts her top.   
“Bye Bye bikinis.” She tells Steve as he eyes her scar.   
“Yeah I bet you look terrible in em’ now.” He teases.   
Natasha grins as she bites her lip.   
“Going after him is a dead end. I know. I’ve tried. Like you said he’s a ghost story.” She claims holding up the drive.   
He grabs it.   
“Let’s find out what the ghost wants.”   
“Together?” She says confused.   
He nods.   
“I couldn’t do this alone. Not without my partner.” He says.   
Natasha smiles as they walk side by side out of the hospital.   
/  
Natasha was working her magic. Her fingers hurriedly tapped at the keyboard. Steve’s arms on either side of her as he watched her work was extremely distracting, not to mention how good he had looked in those glasses.   
“Can I help you guys?” An unfamiliar voice asked.   
Natasha turned and smiled to the long haired man.   
“Oh no. My fiancé was just helping me with some honeymoon destinations.” She says shaking Steve a bit to send him the message to go with it.   
“Right. We’re getting married.” He said blushing with a wide smile.   
I wish. He thought.   
“Congratulations. Where are you guys thinking about going?” The man asked.   
Steve peered at Natasha she needed to work. The least he could do was cover her ass though being undercover wasn’t his strong suit. Eying the white dot in New Jersey he did the best he could think of.   
“New Jersey.” He answered.   
/  
They got out of the Apple store just to spot none other than Rumlow and the rest of Strike. We are toast. Steve said to himself over and over.   
“You hit the south escalator to the metro.” Steve finished explaining his plan.   
“Shut up and put your arm around me. Laugh at something I said.” Natasha scolds.   
Steve acts fast and does just that letting out a low chuckle as some agents pass on the left. He turns to make sure it worked and it did.   
“What the hell?” He questions. How was it that easy.   
“Public displays of affection make people very uncomfortable.” Natasha notes reading his mind.   
“Yes they do.” Is all he answers as they board the escalator. 

On the way down Steve spots Rumlow coming straight to them. He panics for a moment and thinks. What would Natasha do.   
“Kiss me.” He states boldly.   
“What?” Natasha said raising an eyebrow.   
Not that she would mind it. At all. But was it really the time?   
Within a moment Steven places both his large hands on her cheeks and pulls her in for a searing kiss. It takes her a moment but she eases into and a minute later both parties reluctantly pull away for air.   
“Still uncomfortable?” She grins.   
“Not exactly the word I would use.” He retorts licking his lips.   
/  
“Where did Captain America learn to steal a car?” Natasha asks eyeing him.   
“Nazi Germany. And we’re borrowing, feet off the dash.” He scolds.   
Natasha grins a bit and smoothly slides them off.   
“I have a question for you. Of which you don’t have to answer, I feel like if you don’t answer it though, you’re kinda answering it, you know?” She begins.   
“What.” He cuts off.   
“Was that your first kiss since 1945?” She asks.   
“That bad huh?” He jokes.   
“I didn’t say that.”  
“It kinda sounds like that’s what your saying.”   
“No! I’ve just wondered how much practice you’ve had.”   
“You don’t need practice.”   
“Everybody needs practice.” She finished the argument.   
“Are you offering Ms. Romanoff?” He says in a grumbly tone.   
Natasha squirms. That is not what she expected him to say.   
The two entered into a silence as Steve has a ghost of a grin on his face. 

Minutes later Natasha speaks again.   
“What do you want me to be?”   
“My partner. The right partner.” He says seriously turning to face her.   
Natasha gets goosebumps. Shield is no longer, they have no official obligation to one another and Natasha figured he wouldn’t want any to do with her in non work related terms. She hoped it wouldn’t be the case and to her surprise it isn’t. Steve still wants her at his side, and the craziest part is, she want, no needs to be at his side to keep going.   
“Well there’s a chance you may be in the wrong business Rogers.” She tells him mocking words she spoke just about two years ago.   
“I don’t know about that one Romanoff. I’ve had good luck so far.” He winks as they pull up to Camp Leigh.   
/  
Steve coughed and heaved as the ash and debris filled his lungs. Hoisting the large rock off of him he was overcome with immense fear.   
No. No. No. Not her.   
“Nat! Natasha!” He calls frantically searching as he walks through the rubble.   
He spots a strip of red amongst the destruction, but she doesn’t move. Scooping her into his arms without second thought he begins marching them out.   
“Come on Nat, you gotta stay with me. Come on, open those eyes.” He pleads to her as he runs to the car while blocking out the loud jets above. 

Loading her into the passenger seat, he drives to the only place he can think of all while begging her to wake up.   
/  
The past four hours Steve has been gently stroking Natasha’s knuckles as he continuously begs her to wake. Sometime while in Pennsylvania she stirs a bit. Mumbling an ow Steve tells her to go back to sleep. 

Now they’ve arrived to their destination. Steve has been sitting in the car watching her for five minutes, not having the heart to wake her. However, he knows he’s a sitting duck so he apprehensively shakes her.   
“Nat.” He coos.   
“We’re here.” He finishes.   
She groans and props herself up.   
“Where are we?” She asks groggy.   
“Somewhere safe.” He promises.   
She quirks an eyebrow. Nowhere seems safe.   
“Trust me okay?” He asks as he unbuckles her seat belt.  
Natasha nods the slightest and follows Steve to the small porch.   
“I’m sorry about this.” Steve says apologetically to the handsome man who answered.   
“We need a place to lay low.” He finishes.   
“Everyone we know is trying to kill us.” Natasha adds.   
“Not everyone.” Sam replies widening the door.   
/  
Steve instantly tells Natasha to shower. To clean any wounds she has along with the excess dirt and grime. Sam, of course agrees and escorts her to the guest bathroom. 

Steve waits in the living room as he explains the events of the past twenty four hours to his new friend.   
“And her?” Sam asks when he’s finished.   
“Natasha? What about her?” He asks confused.   
“Just seems like she might be more than a work friend.” He says wiggling his brows.   
Steve sighs.   
“She’s well, it’s complicated.” He offers lamely.   
“Whatever man. All I gotta say is that if my world just came crashing down, I’d at least tell the woman I love, that I love her.” Sam says a matter of fact.   
Steve scoffs.   
Did he really love Natasha?   
Whatever it was would have to wait as his super hearing picked up on the water shutting off. 

Much like earlier Steve knew it was best to give Natasha her time and space to think for a few minutes. He made good use of the sink and small cloth as he did what he could do get the dirt off his skin. From the mirror however he could see Natasha trying to hold it together.   
“You okay?” He asks like an idiot as he turns to her.   
“Yeah.” She says lowly, her voice shaky.   
He places the towel down, and sits across from her.   
“What’s going on?” This time her saying nothing wasn’t up for debate.   
“When I first joined shield I thought I was going straight. But I guess I just traded in the KGB for Hydra.” She starts.   
Inhaling deeply she continues to speak.   
“I thought I knew whose lies I was telling. I guess I can’t tell the difference anymore.” She says sadness evident in her voice as she attempts to offer a tight lipped smile.   
“There’s a chance you might be in the wrong business.” He says.   
She chuckled quietly as Steve offers her a genuine smile.   
“I owe you.” She says her voice above a whisper.   
“It’s okay.” Steve replies shaking his head.   
If anything. He owed her for coming on this wild goose chase.   
“If it was the other way around and it were down to me to save your life, and you be honest with me. Would you trust me to do it?” She asks unsure.   
“I would now, and I did then.” He tells her.   
Her eyes fill with shock.   
“And I’m always honest.” He finishes with another smile.   
Nat smiles back. This time it’s real and seeing her vulnerability makes him tingle. Then he recounts Sams words from not long ago.   
‘If my world came crashing down. I’d at least tell the woman I love, I love her.’   
“Look Nat not only do I trust you but I also need you to know that I l-“ Steve begins, before being cut off.   
“I made breakfast.” Sam announces.   
Good timing bud! Steve glares.   
“If you guys eat that sort of thing.” Sam finishes catching Steve’s eyes.  
Casually, her turns to Nat and lifts an eyebrow as the pair get up to eat.   
/  
A loud crash is heard above them. Natasha acts first as she leaps from her own seat and onto Steve’s lap. Clutching his head she pushes it into her lap for protection. 

Sure he heals faster and can handle himself just as much as her, but honestly? At this point the only person Nat knows for certain she has left is Steve and she will be damned if she loses him too. 

She lets go shortly after as the two stare wide eyed out the window at the overturned cars and the man with the metal arm, as they prepare to engage for battle.   
/

Holy shit.   
Holy shit.   
He’s alive.   
Bucky is alive. 

Steves been staring at the ground the past few minutes as they board him into the van. He is too distracted by the reappearance of his best friend in the form of a brainwashed assassin trying to kill him. Unable to register what exactly just went on Steve looks up from his hands finding Sams chains clanking against the metal bench. 

Sam. Poor Sam. Steve never meant for it to go this far, to get Sam involved like this. He’s a good a guy and now he is sucked into a world with year and years of history with the casualty count to back it up. His eyes shift next to the man. 

As his eyes look over Natasha her face is tired and pale. She looks likes going to fall over at any moment, and as he scans her further he sees the blood oozing and pooling through the hole into her leather jacket.   
“We need to get a doctor here!” Steve yells at the guards.   
They make no move.   
“She’s gonna bleed out. You can’t let her die. Please don’t let her die.” Steve begins to beg.   
Yes, he is currently begging his enemies. Pleading for the life of the woman he loves. 

Just as Steve was to yell again one of the guards pulls out an electric wand surprisingly striking the guard next to them, and landing a nasty kick to another. Pulling off the helmet as chocolate brown hair cascades out.   
God he doesn’t think he’s ever been so happy to see Agent Hill.   
/  
Steve helps Natasha out of the van as he grips her hips and lowers her or the ground. Wrapping an arm under her for support he continues to rush her to where medical attention can be given as she pressurized the wound. 

As they enter the dirty old room they see a curtain pulled back as they hear the beeps form various machines. Inching closer they see none other than Nick Fury lying in the bed. Steve mouth drops at the sight as he hears Natasha let out a disgruntled noise. And, before he knows it she’s falling over and landing in his arms unresponsive.   
/  
Steve put Natasha into a nearby bed an hour ago as Maria assures she was in safe hands with the doctor on sight. Since then he’s spoke to Nick Fury as he explained how he faked his death and why. Just as the story wrapped up the small man came out.   
“Agent Romanoff is on pain medications and should wake up within the hour.” He explains to them.   
They all nod in response and Steve is itching to see her.   
“Go in there Rogers.” Fury instructs.   
Steve doesn’t need to be told twice as he races to the door.   
“Be good to her. She deserves it.” Nick says almost sadly (as if that’s possible for him).   
/  
Steve sits by her bed side and it takes her two hours to wake up as he grabs her hand.   
“Steve?” She chokes.   
“Nat.” He sighs relieved.   
“Did I dream it?” She asks.   
Steve’s heart breaks.   
“Fury’s alive?” The redhead questions.   
Steve nods as a tear slips down her cheek.   
“He doesn’t trust me.” She says her voice breaking.   
“Oh Nat.” Steve says as he bleeds for her. 

Steve lets Natasha cry as he explains that Fury trusted virtually no one, but it doesn’t seem to make it better. Sometime later her sobs subside and she sniffles.   
“Lay with me.” She demands more than asks.   
Steve complies and climbs into the bed next to her. He is careful of her shoulder and just turns on his side to look at her.   
“What is it him?” Natasha questions.   
“Was it really Bucky?” She finishes.   
Steve nods.

Natasha has heard so many stories and seen so many pictures of Barnes she feels like she practically knows him.   
“I’m sorry Steve. We’ll get him back. I know how much he means to you.” She says her voice strained.   
“It’s okay Nat. Just rest now.” He tells her evidently she was growing tired from the exhaustion and medication again.   
“What about tomorrow?” Natasha wonders.   
“I don’t know what’s gonna happen. We’re gonna have to fight.” He tells her.   
She nods in the slightest.   
“What about tonight?” She tries.  
“Tonight we rest.” Steve declares.   
“Together?” Natasha asks.   
Steve gulps.   
“Together.” The blonde says.   
Lifting an arm Natasha places her head on his chest hearing the beat of his heart in her ear as Steve feels relieved and safe for the first time in days. The pair close their eyes and drift to sleep, as they are unsure what tomorrow will bring but at least they’re together.   
/  
Steve wakes up to the sound of Marvin Gaye in his ears and feels the tickle of hair against his hand.   
“On your left.” He hears.   
He turns to see Sam with a magazine in his hand. He smiles at his friend even though it hurt with the stitches.   
“Now to your right.” Sam whispers lower.   
Steve turns his head slowly and notices Natasha slumped over as her head rests on the bed and her hair tickling his fingers and her hand is placed atop his.   
“She hasn’t left till you got here man. She refused.” Sam says shaking his head.   
Steve smiles again.   
He musters up the energy to gently squeeze and shake her hand, to which she stirred.   
“I’ll leave you two alone.” Sam announces as Natasha groggily lifts her head. 

“Hi Nat.” He whispers.   
“Steve.” She answers breathless.   
“You’re okay. I thought I’d lost you. I thought you died-“ She began as she became choked up.   
“Sh.” Steve hushed her as he reached a hand to her face.   
“I’m okay.” He tells her as her puffy doe eyes meet his.   
“Please don’t do that again. It’s just that I’m, the thing is that,” She starts rambling until she cuts herself off.   
“You’re all I have left.” She finished honestly.   
Steve shudders. It’s probably the most open and emotional thing she’s ever uttered to him and his heart is beating fast.   
“I wouldn’t leave you Nat, not now. Not ever. You’re all I got too.” He says pushing hair behind her ear.   
Natasha smiles sadly as Steve pulls his hand from her face. Scooting over in the small bed.   
“Rest Natasha you look exhausted.” He says patting the space next to him.   
To his surprise she doesn’t protest but climbs in careful not to bombard any of his injuries. He doesn’t care though, he pulls her into him and tight.   
“Thank you for being here.” He mummers as they both loll to sleep.   
“Thank you for waking up.” She replies equally as tired as the exhaustion finally takes over.   
/  
Steve has gotten out of the hospital not too long ago, maybe an hour or so. Upon being discharged he received a cryptic text to meet in a nearby graveyard. 

Upon arrival he finds Nick Fury standing over his own grave. Fury goes on to explain he’s off to Europe to handle some business. It’s nice to finally be in the loop with Nick but in all honesty he didn’t expect him to come with him on his adventure. Steve didn’t even want him to come, the person he wanted to come was yet to be seen. Of course she appears though, minutes later marching up to the trio. Fury and Sam take the hint to give them privacy and peel off to elsewhere. Steve turns to her. 

“Not going with him?”   
“No.” She says raising her brows.   
“Not staying either.” He says more of a statement then a question.   
“I blew all my covers I gotta find a new one.” She tells him.   
“That might take a while.” He says desperate to fish for any information on when he will see her next.   
“I’m counting on it.” She finishes.   
Steve stares at her. His blue eyes pouring into her green ones as if he’s silently pleading for her to stay. She looks down however, almost as if she doesn’t want the memo.   
“I called in a favor from Kiev.” She says slipping him the file.   
He stares at it for a moment. Thinks about the future, about finding Bucky. Then it dawns on him, Natasha won’t even be at his side.   
How the hell will he do this?   
“Do me a favor then.” She says snapping his head up.   
“Take care of yourself. You always put others before yourself, just stay safe Steve, please.” She says her eyes turning shiny as she bites down on her bottom lip.   
Before he can respond she is gripping his shoulder and pulling him down as she plants a kiss on his cheek. She was never good at goodbyes so this would have to do. She turns to walk away and Steve feels helpless, he wants to grab her and tell her to stay. To be his partner.   
“Be careful Steve. You may not wanna pull that thread.” She warns, and just like that, she’s off. 

The soldier just stands dumbly as she is out of eye range.   
“Man go after her!” Sam practically yells from behind him.   
Shoving the file into Sam's arms he hops on his bike and rides.   
/  
Steve has only been to Natasha’s place one or two times. Sometimes after a mission she’d stop by and gather her clothes before they went to Steve’s, but he always stood outside. Never went in. Climbing that what felt like thousands of steps to her he reached her door. He knocked. No answer.   
“Natasha!” He called hopeful.   
Nothing.   
Four more knocks.   
“Nat!” Steve calls desperate.   
God he was too late.   
As Steve lifted his hand to bang again the door flew open.   
“Steve?” She asked confused.   
He pushed past her and stepped inside.   
“Don’t go.” He says breathless.   
She stares confused.   
He grabs both her hands and looking into her sad eyes.   
“Stay please. I can’t do this without you. You’re all I have left, I need you. I need my partner.” He says intensely to which Natasha is breathless.   
“I know okay? I know you blew all your covers so just be Natasha please. Natasha is amazing, skillful, gorgeous, and intelligent. I don’t want Natasha to go, so please don’t.” He continues.   
Natasha’s eyes soften at the words and she squeezes his hand.   
“Okay.” She manages to whisper through the lump in her throat.   
“Okay?” He asks to make sure.   
She nods.   
“I’m not going to run. Not anymore, not without you.” She promises.   
Steve smiles, and pulls her into him for a tight embrace.   
He places his chin atop of her head and plants a soft kiss to her hair. Natasha is rubbing circles on his back as they find warmth in each others arms.

Neither of them are alone. Not anymore, and it’s been that way for sometime.   
They have each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment below thoughts on this, it means a lot! Next up is Steve, Natasha, and Sam on the search for Bucky in between TWS and AOU. As Steve and Natasha's fondness for one another grows, and people begin to notice, as they notice themselves.


	3. Captain America: The Search For The Winter Soldier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve, Natasha, and Sam search for Bucky and along the way Natasha is haunted by her past. In which both she and Steve realize how much they need one another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was difficult for me to write, it is not stuff I normally do and went in a different direction then planned. All in all, I am happy with it and I hope you are too. This chapter is meant to fill in with the upcoming Age of Ultron chapter so that's why it is oriented to Nat's past since it comes up in AOU.

Four months. The last four months Steve, Natasha, and Sam have been searching for Barnes. One lead after another, and all leading to the same place, nowhere. It was exhausting and grueling for all of them, but have one another was truly keeping them each grounded. 

Sam and Steve had an established trust being that the Falcon followed Steve on his journey deposit only knowing one another for such a short time. Steve's trust in Natasha was a granted, and Nat returned the feeling. However, Natasha being Natasha, at first she had a hard time trusting Sam. It's not like she didn't like him, she enjoyed his pleasant humor and not to mention he was a good cook, but it was hard for her to open up given her past.

One day two months into the whole investigation Natasha was in a very compromising position with a former enemy of hers and it would have been bad if not for Sam. He literally swooped her up from the ground and flew her out. From that day forward the trio became bonded and had a mutual respect and trust in one another.

Sam had even dubbed them the ‘Meadow Medley” which Natasha commented was the stupidest name ever. Sam went on to justify it because the three of them were like Bambi, Thumper, and Flower. Steve of course, was Bambi. Sam said because he's learning to navigate the new world and has a big heart. He told Natasha she is Thumper do to her awful temper and need to beat people up when angry, not to mention her sass. Sam claims that he is Flower because he is downright adorable. Natasha just said its because he smells, which earns a laugh from Steve. 

The trio were all relaxing in the living room in their place of current inhabitants. A small hotel room in Melbourne is where they had taken residence for the last few days. Sam was reclining back in the arm chair while watching some silly cartoon, as Steve and Natasha were suspiciously close on the couch. They hadn’t even been watching the television as the redhead giggled whenever Steve would breathe down her neck. They were so cute, and it pissed Sam off. 

Sure, he like both Steve and Natasha but it was like they were married, and he was the child they dragged along to everything. The thing that enraged him so much about the entire thing is that both of them are in such denial about their feelings. Sam knew Steve loved Natasha the minute he showed up at his doorstep more concerned for Natasha’s state than his own safety. Natasha however, was harder to get a read on. He had a few hunches about it after the events in DC and how she practically lived in Steve’s hospital room, but being in such close proximity confirmed the fact. Steve was usually a head case whenever Natasha insisted on venturing off on her own. Natasha often scolded Steve for putting himself in harm's way claiming she didn’t care how fast he heals, he needs to thin before he acts. Also, not to mention the fact that whenever the hotel room comes with two full sized beds and a pull out couch they always share a bed. Nat’s excuse is that Steve is an old man and the couch will give him a bad back. 

Sam is drawn from his thoughts by a loud yelp.   
“Rogers!” She jumps.   
“What’d I do?” He asks with a shit eating grin.   
He knew exactly what he did. His breath had been tickling Natasha’s neck for the past ten minutes and when he pressed his cold nose to her nape she squealed.   
Nat glares at him and sits back down, on the other end of the couch.   
Steve frowns.   
“Nat come back, I’m cold.” He whines.   
Natasha laughs and crawls back into his arms.   
Sam scoffs audibly.   
“Are you two for real? We are in Australia. In the Summer. Also, don’t you run hot Steve?” Sam challenges annoyed.   
Natasha shushes him.   
“Whatever Wilson, we’re trying to watch this.” The spy waves off. Steve was too busy playing with her hair to even notice Sam.   
Sam rolls his eyes, and stands.   
“I’m going to see if anythings come up.” He announces walking into the bedroom and reaching for his laptop. 

Sam taps in his password as he clicks open the super top secret communication line Natasha set up as long as message boards deep in the dark web. It is an old shield, or Hydra computer she dug up. From investigation it belonged to Rumlow as his screen name is ‘Crossbones’, which they discover is his alias. As he skims the various tips surfacing onto the website, something stands out to him:   
Winter Soldier sighting. Sources says he is heading for Belarus. Anyone who can have his body to me within twelve days time will receive fourteen million in cash upfront.   
Sam rights down the finding on a notepad as he clicks the name of the man who posted it. After seeing the account he can confirm its truth, Natasha explained earlier that the man who went by ‘Vulture’ was rumored to be after Bucky vibranium arm that could make quadruple of what he is willing to pay. Jotting down the information on the small post it he walks back out into the living room to find Natasha leaning into Steves side as he draws something on his sketch pad.   
“Got something.” He announces.   
Natasha looks up, as Steve places down his pencil and pad.   
“Vulture posted a tip about Barnes heading to Belarus. If we leave now we may be able to catch him.” Sam informs them.   
Steve feels Natasha tense up and retreat from his hold quickly. Standing up, she matches into the next room and opens the communal laptop they share. Both Steve and Sam follow, eyeing her suspiciously. The red head stands over the screen looking at the post for at least ten minutes before anyone dares to speak.   
“Nat?” Steve calls out concerned.   
Her head snaps and her eyes look large.   
“It’s real.” Is all she manages as her voice cracks slightly.   
It's odd she says the fact really. They have cleared up long ago that about eighty five of the leads on the boards are significant, especially those from Vulture.   
Steve turns to Sam like he would have the answer. Sam shrugs to the blonde dumbly as Natasha shuts the computer. Natasha just stands and stares at Steve, as if she is waiting for his command. Sure Steve is Captain, but when it came to these things he turned to Natasha given her experience in this. She seemed reluctant to follow this lead specifically.   
“We leave tomorrow morning.” Steve instructs.   
Sam looks dumbfounded, as Natasha nods slowly and pushes past them into the bathroom. 

“What was that all about?” Steve asks with puppy dog like eyes.   
“I dunno.” Sam said staring at the closed bathroom door.   
“One of us should go talk to her.” Steve whispers.   
Sam turns and furrows his brows.   
“You say it like its up for debate. Last week she smacked me for asking if I could eat her oreos.” Sam points out.   
Steve glares at Sam, clearly bothered by his irrelevant story during times like these.   
Sam clears his throat.   
“Well, I’ll just be out here.” Sam announces loudly, hoping Natasha will hear.   
“Oh, and I’ll close the door too!” He finished slamming it for ample effect.   
Steve face palms, and walks toward the bathroom. 

“Nat?” He asks placing his ear onto the door.   
He hears water running but after he calls for her it shuts off. Moments later the lock to the door clicks and the door opens. Water drips off Natashas face as she rings a towel through her hands.   
“Everything alright?” He asks like an idiot.   
Clearly not Steve. He scolds.   
“Peachy Rogers.” She dead pans as she reaches into the drawer for a change of clothes.   
“Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to shower. I can trust you and Wilson can put your brains together and book the plane tickets.” She tells him as she pushes past him into the bathroom.  
Steve doesn’t even have a chance to respond before the door is being closed in his face. 

/ 

When Natasha had her sudden outburst the time was nearing eleven at night. Managing to take an hour long shower before the water was turning her skin an angry shade of red from the heat. Shutting off the faucet, she stepped out and wiped the condensation in the mirror as she looked at herself long and hard. Closing her eyes she gets a sudden flash from her childhood. 

/ 

 

“Where are you taking me Madame?” She asked from the back of the car.   
The blonde woman didn’t answer as she mumbled something to the driver.   
Natasha was dumbfounded by the sight around her, the white snow covered the earth as it hung on tree branches making the sight even more captivating. Just a mere two days ago Natasha had been taken from the hospital and into the custody of a woman who who introduced herself as Madame B. Said woman explained that Natasha would be in safe hands with her. 

In all honesty Natasha was scared and confused. When she woke up in the hospital the doctors explained to her that her parents would not be coming back as they were consumed by a fire that started in her house a week ago, and Natasha was the lone survivor. It was a lot, almost too much, for her to wrap her five year old brain around. ANd through her cries the staff assured her that she would be taken into good hands. Hence being placed with Madame B. 

The car came to a halt as Natasha clutched the small teddy bear in her arms tighter. It had been all she had left, sure it was torn up and blackened with ash, but it was something.   
“We are here Natalia.” She smiled deviously black.   
Natasha opened the car door and placed her small feet at the ground looking up to the building in front of her eyes. Madame B grabbed her and hand smiled down at her.   
“Where are we?” The small child asked.   
“The red room.” Madame B smirks.   
“Huh?” Nat asks.   
“Don't worry Natalia. We will train you here, you will become exceptional, the best at what you do.” The woman tells her.   
Natasha smiles.   
“I finally get to dance?” The little girl asks hopeful.   
When she first met Madame B, she had asked Nat what she liked to which Natasha answered ballet.   
“Yes Natalia. You will finally get to dance.” Madame B says as she walks forward to the facility, Natasha’s hand in her own. 

/

Natasha was hyperventilating at the memory. She clutched her chest tightly in attempts to calm herself down. After muttering the alphabet in mandarin four times (a trick Clint taught her), her breathing seemed to slow. Combing her her and changing into clothes she hung up her towel and left the bathroom. As she opened the door she noted Sam nor Steve was in the residential bed area yet, probably waiting for her to come out. Counting on the fact, she climbed into bed to avoid any further questions either may have had. Closing her eyes, she attempted to sleep. 

/ 

Steve and Sam had managed to successfully purchase three plane tickets to where they were headed. After the fact they both lounged in the living room, Sam stuck around being he found the armchair very comforting. Steve stayed because he was hopeful Natasha would come out, but she never did. As the time neared midnight, he was growing impatient and tiptoed into the bedroom. Sam didn’t say anything since he fell asleep in the chair a few minutes before. 

As he pushed the door lightly to prevent creaking he found Natasha back facing the door as the blankets were pulled up to her chin.   
“Nat.” He whispered gently to see if she was awake.   
When he got no response, he had concluded that she was in fact asleep as he slipped into the bathroom.   
Little did he know Natasha laid facing away from the door, her eyes wide as the corners pricked with tears. 

Minutes later the bathroom door opened again as the light gave the room an ominous glow. Steve gently laid next to her, as she felt the bed dip. Her eyes were closed, but she was very awake and she was hoping he didn’t notice. 

He hadn’t. He assumed Natasha was asleep form the exhaustion of their mission that day and let her be. However, a bad habit Steve has had since the war, and the death of his mother is pillow talk. Even if it just to himself, or he likes to believe his mom is listening. So, as he laid in the bed he began talking aloud, figuring there were no prying ears. 

“I wish she’d talk to me Ma.” He whispered lowly.   
Natashas eyes snapped open.   
“I just wanna help whatever it is. I dragged her along with me, I needed her here. The least I can do is be there for her” The soldier finishes sighting deeply.   
“Night Ma. Love you.” He says to the ceiling as he adjusts his position to be more comfortable.  
Asbetnetly as he is falling asleep he can't help but spoon Natasha and pull her into his chest. He must really be out, as he doesn’t wake up when the moisture slides from Natasha’s cheek and lands on his forearm, as her sniffles fill the room. 

/

Steve begins to feel his body wake as the sunshine pours into the room. Their flight is scheduled for for 9:47 in the morning, and he reads the current time around eight. He lazily rolls over and holds his arm out to encompass Natasha with his warmth. However, his arm hits the lump of pillows. Suddenly awake, he opens his eyes to find the room empty. Scurrying up and throwing back the duvet he opens the door to the living room as Sam stirs at the sound. Looking hurriedly for Natasha he sees a loose leaf piece of paper on the counter with scrawl on it. 

Went to the market to grab a few things before we leave. Will he back before extraction.   
-N

Sam got up next to Steve and scanned the note himself. Steve looked nothing but relieved as a bead of sweat dropped from his forehead and his chest heaved intensely. Almost as if he were back in Brooklyn as a young boy with a terrible case of asthma. 

“Woah man relax.” Sam coaxes as he grips Steve’s shoulders and sits him on the couch.   
Steve continues heaving.   
“Steve!” Sam calls shaking him.   
Steve finally makes eye contact with Sam.   
“Tell me what’s going on.” Sam says kneeling in front of him.   
“Natasha.” Steve manages.   
Sam eyes him confused.   
“I thought... I thought she left. That she wasn’t coming back.” Steve says as his voice is hoarse.  
Sam sighs sadly. He feels for the guy. Steve is clearly madly in love with this woman and the thought of losing her got to him.   
Just as Sam was going to assure the soldier she wouldn’t leave him unannounced or probably at all when the door clicked. 

With groceries in tow Natasha shut the hotel room door and looked at the couch. Steve was still breathing heavily and hadn’t even noticed she was there. As the red head saw the scene in front of her she dropped the bags and rushed to him. 

Grabbing both sides of his face gently she tilted his head to her.   
“Steve?” She asked concerned.   
“Nat.” He smiled closing his eyes as he eased.   
“Steve what’s going on?” She questioned but he hands didn’t move from his cheeks.   
Sam took it as his cue to leave as he stood and walked into the bedroom.   
“I thought,” he began.   
He paused.   
“What did you think Steve?” She coaxed.   
“I thought you’d left. That you weren’t coming back.” He admitted.   
Natasha’s heart broke a little as her hands slid down his face and her small hands found his fingers, lacing them together.   
“I’m sorry.” She said honestly.   
“I wouldn’t do that okay? I know you said you needed me here, that you can’t do this alone, and the truth is I need you too.” Natasha assures.   
Steve looks at her with wide eyes.   
“You do?” He questions.   
“Yeah soldier. I do.” She breathes.   
Nat squeezes his hand as she smiles to up to him.   
“Nat?” He said tentatively.   
“Hm.” She hums.   
“Before why were you so upset? Did I do something-“ he began.   
Natasha cut him off.   
“No. It wasn’t you. Just bad memories.” The spy answers.   
Steve nods.   
“You can tell me when you’re ready. I’ll be here. I’ll listen.” He promises, as he rubs a finger over her knuckle.   
Natasha’s eyes sting at the words.   
God feelings were so fucking complicated.   
Natasha leans in and places a kiss on his cheek. The kiss is warm and full of unspoken promises, and Steve smiles almost like he knows the fact.   
“Come on soldier, lets go pack up.” She says pulling away and standing.   
Steve follows.   
He’d follow her to the end of the goddamn earth. 

/

Natasha was having an inner conflict. She was struggling to swallow the big pill of facing her past. Facing the demons that made her into the monster she is. The assassin also was fighting herself on the fact that she couldn’t close herself off. She needed to be there for Steve, be there like he had for her all those times. And Christ it’s scary. The feeling that she wants to change at the expense of someone else’s feelings. To make them feel good. To put him first. 

Natasha shakes her thoughts as she turns onto her side and faces Steve. They had landed in Belarus two hours ago, and arrived at the airport forty minutes ago. Quickly Sam and Steve settled into the ratty motel beds as the exhaustion of traveling had bested them. Natasha had no such luck. Knowing that the moment she shut her eyes, it would all come back to her, all the terrible memories held within the very territory she was in. Looking at Steve’s relaxed features she reminds herself why she is here. She’s here because Steve not only wants her to be, he needs her to be there for him and aid him on his long journey to avenge his best friend. With that in mind Natasha continues watching Steven sleep in order to ease her racing mind. 

/

“Should be right through here.” Sam announces pushing past some trees. 

The forest is vast and like a maze the trio will never find their way out of. Sam flew over the territory moments ago saying he found a building that may have significance being the lead would place Bucky in this central location at the time. As they pushed past the brush they were meant by a large building. One Natasha recognized easily. 

Her breath hitched as she did her best to keep it together.   
“Nat me and you can go in and search while Sam you can provide eyes from the sky.” Steve instructed.   
Sam nodded as his wings revealed themselves with a loud shutter. Sam went to hover a bit as Steve stepped forward.   
“Coming?” He asked Nat.   
She shook her head.   
“I think it’s best I stay out here. In case Sam misses anything since the trees can block the view from the south east point.” She said.   
It was logical despite her motives. Steve nodded in response and charged at the building.   
/  
Twenty minutes into the operation Sam sadly announced into the comms that their was just another tip that the winter soldier had been spotted in Switzerland. Photo evidence was used as proof of the fact.   
“Natasha we’re coming to you.” Steve announced.   
“Affirmative.” She responded twirling her hair.   
A minute or so passed and Natasha’s comm grew static in her ear.  
“Natalia.” She heard in a deep whisper.   
Natasha twitched.   
“Who ever is doing it stop.” She announced.   
If Steve and Sam replied, she hadn’t heard it.   
“Natalia it’s time to dance.” The voice said again.   
“Stop!” She yelled.   
The taunts continued as she placed her hand over her ears.   
“Get out of my head!” She shouted.   
Natasha fell to her knees as Sam and Steve came running.   
“Nat!” Steve called concerned.   
As Natasha went to lift her head to his she heard a single word whispered in her ear.   
Sambuca.  
And like a light. Natasha was out.   
Steve hurried to her side as tried to wake her. 

/

Steve has been pacing the floor unsure what to do and why she wouldn’t respond. He had assessed her body time and time again for any injury, and for good measure had Sam do the same. 

Steve recalled mentioning that this specific area had been somewhere from her past. Natasha's past was a touchy subject, they only talked about it if she brought it up. From the bits and pieces he's gathered it wouldn't be out of left field if something done to her years ago had anything to do with this. Feeling uncomfortable sifting through the files she dumped on the internet that may have answers, he opted for calling Barton. 

Clint had not picked up the first few times, until about an hour later.   
At the sound of his phone ringing Steve practically jumped to get it.   
“Hello?” The voice asked.   
“Clint! It’s Steve.”   
“Okay. What’s this about?” Clint asked confused.   
“It’s Natasha something’s happened.”   
“What is it?” Clint asks seeming very worried.   
“We were following a lead when Natasha began yelling into the comms telling someone to stop and get out of her head. When we got there she was alone and next thing she’s passing out and won’t wake up. There doesn't seem to be any visible injury. I don’t know what to do Clint I don’t know how to fix this. Please help me.” Steve begged.   
Clint sighed.   
“Where was this?”   
“Belarus.” He answers.   
Clint groans.   
“She was trained there. If I had to guess you were set up Cap, or someone had easy access to the communication network. From what I have learned certain words trigger her. In the red room they wired her brain to have a physical reaction to the words. She saw someone back at shield to restrain herself but since she’s stopped I imagine things have gotten worse. You just need to give her some time, she will wake up. It won't be pretty when she does, but she will.”   
“Okay Clint, Thank you.” Steve says grateful. But unsettled by the last statement.   
As he goes to click the end button, Clint speaks hurriedly.   
“Take care of her. I know she doesn’t seem like she needs it and she thinks she doesn’t but times like these she needs someone. She needs you, so be good for her.” Clint instructs.   
Steve nods, but knowing Clint can’t see that, therefore he speaks.   
“Of course.” Steve promises ending the call.   
He sighs and turns to look over her face. 

Steve knows Natasha had assured him earlier she needed him, but he had figured she was attempting to calm him down. He let self doubt get the best of him, not thinking what she was saying was possible. However, hearing it from someone else who knows Natasha more than anyone, he thinks: maybe she does need him. 

Fuck he’s a dead man. 

/

Natasha wakes hours later as said, screaming bloody murder. Begging for her life, telling them she can’t do it. And shit, Clint was right, this was indeed an unpleasant sight as her face became damp. Her hair stuck to her forehead from the sweat as her face contorted in pain. 

Steve rushes to her side and grabs her hand as he shushes her. At the contact Natashas pulls away and assumes some sort of defense stance as her hands cover her face. 

“Hey Nat, it’s me. It’s Steve.” He said quietly approaching.   
Natasha's arms fell from where they are and at her side as she moaned in pain.   
“I’m sorry Steve.” She cried.   
Steve was confused, but nonetheless came closer and began pushing the damp strands from her face.   
“Don’t apologize. You have nothing to be sorry for.” He says earnestly.   
She nods shakily and hurriedly.   
“Yes I do. I fucked it up. We could have gotten Barnes, you could;have saved him and I got in the way. I fucked it up like everything else.” She said strained.   
It was Steve’s turn to shake his head.   
“Bucky wasn't even there. By the time we arrived it had been too late. Despite that Natahas you do so many things right, you do so much damn good.” He tells her as his hands rest atop her cheeks.   
“You’re wrong Steve. I’m not good, the things I did, I-” She started.   
Steve cuts her off.   
“It doesn’t matter. None of it will change how you’ve been by my side, been the perfect partner.” He says.   
She sighs, as a silence falls over them  
“I was trained back there. After my parents died they said it was an orphanage, that I’d get to dance. They made me do awful things, and when I wouldn’t comply they took you to this room and they made your brain go haywire. Eventually I couldn’t do it anymore and I-” She said but was stopped by her own sobs.   
Steve hushed her softly.   
“You don’t need to relive this, not now. When your ready Natasha, I’ll be here.” The soldier promises.   
She nods sniffing.   
“Get some rest.” Steve says offering her a smile.   
She nods and settles back, Steve turns to leave when he hears her small voice call for him, In response he turns.   
“Stay please. I don’t think I can sleep well without you.” She admits shyly.   
Steve grins like an idiot.   
She does need him.   
Not in a way in which she isn't dependent but almost like they balance each other out. Where she struggles, he thrives. His downfalls are her upbringings. And it dawns on him in the very moment that the reason he has overcome so much, and have been able to preserve as captain, in his search for Bucky, and in this new world is for one reason. They need each other, and with that fact make each other better. 

Steve cuddles Natasha as she lays her head on his chest, the sound of his heart like music to her ears. He plays with the ends of her hair as they lay in a comfortable silence.   
“When I wake up we’re gonna go catch that ghost.” She speaks exhaustion in her voice.   
“Together.” She finishes.   
Steve’s chest squeezes at the assurance.   
“Together.” He repeats whispering to himself.   
He places a gentle kiss atop her hair as they let the emotional strain of the events take over them and sleep. 

When they wake up, not much is certain. One thing is though, that Natasha would be there for Steve in every aspect he wished. As he searched for Bucky, needed support of the loss he's endured, or even working the toaster. Steve would do the same by teaching Nat how to draw, hold her after a bad nightmare, or listen to the awful tales of her past. If one asked the other to go to the ends of the earth for them, they’d agree. They would do what they needed for their partner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Please drop comments below they mean so much, especially in times of doubt. Next chapter will be the events of Age of Ultron. This chapter may take longer being I have a lot of ideas and re imagining since there was a lot of changes I would make. Until then review :)


	4. Avengers: Age of Ultron

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Natasha tackle Ultron and his army while discovering more about each other and themselves. (No Bruce/Nat!).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I am sorry this has been a LONG time coming. I have just been busy, I hope everyone enjoys. (PS if you are reading this when it first comes out I come back later and edit my grammar mistakes!).

The team had just got a reading on Loki’s scepter in some European country to which Steve was too tired to remember the name of at the moment.   
“We leave in five.” Steve got out followed by a yawn. 

Steve began to go back to his room. About a month back he agreed to take residence in the newly build Avengers Tower. He figured it would be good to have access to more resources while searching for Bucky. He only agreed to come on one condition though, Natasha had to come too. 

Nat had gotten the invitation along with the rest of them but had been more reluctant than Steve. Having a designated place of residence for long term was odd. Living with other people? Even more strange. Steve however said that it would be alright and good for the two of them to clear their heads, and after all they’d still be together. At this Natasha hesitantly said yes. Living with Stark wasn’t ideal, but it was better than living alone, or really better than living without Steve. 

After Steve suited up and grabbed his shield and made his way to the jet. Upon climbing aboard he finds both Thor and Bruce in deep conversation. The pair was off to think about. An extremely intelligent scientist along with the god of thunder learning the marvels of the worlds technology, but they were close friends. Living together helped with the fact. Another somewhat odd pair to him had been Clint and Stark. They got together very well, almost too well. To the point where they had coordinated pranks and inside jokes. But come to think of it, him and Natasha were probably the least expected pair of all. All four of his fellow avengers (excluding Nat) commented on the fact whenever they could. 

He shook off the thought however as Natasha boarded the jet looking worn and concerned. At this Steve became increasingly uneasy as a result. He got up to sit in the seat next to her and ask if everything was alright when Clint and Tony came onto the jet laughing. Once inside they noticed all the confused looks and stopped.   
“Everyone buckle up.” Clint called walking to the pilots quarter where Tony would accompany him. 

/

A few minutes had gone by until they reached a safe enough altitude with minimum turbulence to walk around. Not that anyone abided by the rules, but once Tony stood up during take off resulting in a chipped tooth. When Clint had called back they were in the clear Natasha hurriedly unbuckled her seat belt and practically raced to the back of the jet. 

This caused shrugs and odd glances all around but for the most part everyone shrugged it off. Clint probably would have approached had he not been manning the jet, and Steve was going to follow regardless. 

He proceeded to the back with caution, and when he turned the corner to where the cots were he found a slumped over Natasha as she sat atop of one.   
“Nat.” He called out tentatively.   
Her eyes snapped up as he heard her take a sharp intake of air.   
“Hi soldier.” She replied lamely attempting to smile.   
“What’s going on?” He questioned sitting next to her as the small bed dipped under his mass.   
Natasha sighed. She could’ve just sat there and lied, but her and Steve were way past that point by miles.   
“This mission. Siberia.” She spoke.  
Siberia. He thought.   
Following the events in Belarus Natasha began to become more open about her past. Sure, Steve didn’t know everything but he knew enough. He knew that she believes herself to be some monster at the expanse of the things she was forced to do. Steve assured her it wasn’t the case time and time again and he suspected that an inkling of her may have began to agree.   
“Oh.” Steve gasped.   
“Hey. They won’t get to you alright? We learned from last time, I learned from last time.” He emphasized.   
“And I know you aren’t some princess locked in a tower that needs saving or anything like that, but when you need me I’ll be there. We all will.” He promised, reaching for her hand and giving it a squeeze.   
“Thanks soldier.” She said tipping her head to rest on his shoulder.   
He hummed a no problem as he kissed her forehead gently.   
“No seriously Steve. Thank you. I know I can count on you, and that’s more I can say for anyone.” She states as she pulls away to face him.   
Steve doesn’t even have words to describe how that makes him feel. How warm his body feels and how his heart picks up pace. In response he just offers the most genuine smile known to man to which Natasha bites her lip and places a kiss on his cheek. 

This has become normal for them. Sure touches were nothing new, the occasional brush of the hand, cuddling on the couch. But lately they’ve both been more bold, whether it was spooning during the night, tight embraces, or peppered kisses on anywhere but the lips that held unspoken promises. 

After Steve blushed at the soft feeling of her lips planted on his cheek he snakes an arm around her shoulders as they indulged in one another company before it was time. 

/

“Shit!” Tony called into the comms.   
“Language!” Steve said, while Natasha mocked him in that exact moment.   
They knew one another too well.   
“Geez Nat you’re spending to much time with the Captain? Someone got a crush?” She heard Clint tease.   
She would so get him later.   
“Spending too much time with Stark? You sound just like him.” She retorted sharply as she landed a kick to an agents jaw. 

Following the brief conversation everyone attended back to their business. And after Natasha had defeated a large swarm of Hydra goons and the area cleared her eyes searched over the terrain for any of her teammates. 

Then she saw him. Standing behind a tree, weapon in hand. His dark colored suit was in stark contrast with the snow, almost making him impossible to miss. As she watched him she couldn’t help but feel nostalgic. 

She had been happy that he was relieved back to duty. Sure she knew he was nothing but content with relaxing on the farm with Laura and the kids but she missed him. She had Steve to thank to fill the role as her partner and void Clint held in her heart but it was different with Clint. Clint had been the family she never knew, the brother she never got to meet. She loved Clint in ways that Thor loves Loki. In a sense no matter what the situation held she couldn’t turn her back on him, she wanted the best for him. The only other person she ever felt that with was Steve. But it was different. Way different. 

Never once did she want to fuck Clint when he was dripping wet after the shower. Or never once did she think Clint looked extremely attractive with facial hair. She never saw herself settling down and marrying Clint. Call her crazy, but she could see that with Steve, dream that they could. She knew though, that Steve wouldn’t settle down with a monster like her. 

Doing her best to keep her feelings in check and focus on the task at hand, she drew a gun from her holster as Clint smiled back. He pulled the string from his bow as an arrow was attached ready for action. Scanning the landscape, nothing appeared to be coming, then it happened. The sudden flash of a moving figure along the line of trees. Hawkeye released an arrow to hit whatever it was and seemingly missed due to the enhanced speed. Then the figure passed again, bumping Clint and knocking him to the floor.   
“You didn’t see that coming?” A young man asked with silver hair as he moved quicker than the speed of light. 

As Clint was recovering from the blow Natasha got a terrible feeling in her stomach. An awful gut wrenching feeling, similar to the one the night before they invaded shield to take down Hydra. And in a split second she would realize that her feeling of anticipation and dread wasn’t for nothing. 

Across the way from the small bunker a gun opened from the top. Suddenly with a loud boom, it’s blue laser had side swiped Clint. 

“Clint!” Nat yelled rushing to his side.   
“Clint’s hit!” She yelled into the comm. 

Taking a bandage from one of her belts she applied pressure to his bleeding side causing him to groan. Midst all this guns were shooting from the bunker. 

“Anyone wanna handle that bunker?” She called annoyed.   
The hulk smashed it effortlessly to which she squeaked,   
“Thank you.”  
And continued attending to her friend. 

A few minutes passed as Clint’s kids grew heavy.   
“Clint’s hit pretty bad guys. We’re gonna need evac.” Natasha said frantically into her comm.   
Hearing some muttering in her ear she couldn’t make out, someone finally spoke.   
“Thor will get Clint to the jet.” Steve spoke in his captains voice.   
Moments later Thor appeared out of thin air and shook the ground, literally.   
He lifted both Clint and Natasha effortlessly as he flew them to the jet. 

/

The jet had landed at Stark tower which Clint was rushed to the medical bay. The good news was that they had successfully retrieved Loki’s scepter. Bad news is Clint’s hurt and Nat’s kind of a wreck. Of course she wouldn’t show as much but Steve knew, he could tell. 

As she rushed along side him to the examination room she came to a stop as the gurney was wheeled through the doors as doctors surrounded Clint. 

Left in his wake had been Natasha, scared for her friend. She only turned when she felt a hand on her shoulder.   
“Nat.” Steve said softly.   
She sniffled as she tried to hold back tears. Instinctively, Steve pulled her into a tight embrace.   
“Hey he’ll be alright. He’s got Banner and Cho.” Steve whispered.   
Natasha pulled her head back but kept her arm in place.   
“Clint different. He just, he has a lot to more to attend to than the rest of us.” She offered.   
Steve was a bit confused. Last she checked Clint was your average guy when he wasn’t being an avenger. Pushing this aside he gently placed his large hand on Natasha’s head and pushed her into him as they waited. 

/

Helen said he’d be fine. That she had technology to rebuild tissue and that biological weapon hadn’t caused any other damages.   
“Idiot!” She yelled slapping Clint upon the head as he laid in his hospital bed.   
Clint rolled his eyes.   
“I’m fine.” He stated.   
Natasha scoffs.   
“Please when Laura hears about this your done for. You know you can be taking the big risks, you have a family to go home too. You’re not expendable.” She finished.   
“Oh so I’m not, but you are?” Barton retorted.   
“We aren’t having this conversation right now.” She cuts off.   
“Just get some rest and be careful next time. I’m glad you’re okay Clint.” She said grinning to him.   
The archer returned it and offered her a wave goodbye. 

/

Saturday night. Stark’s party. And for once Nat felt like they had reason to celebrate. Finally having Loki’s scepter, Clint being healed, and them all together. 

She stood at the bar in a tight black two piece of a skirt and crop top, exposing the smallest amount of midriff. Her red hair (now down to her mid back) was braided elegantly into a side braid as she mixed drinks. She had spotted Stark, Thor, Barton, Banner, and Maria inhabiting the couches. Moments ago she saw the outlines of Sam and Steve walking along the balcony and down the stairs. At some point Sam peeled off to speak with Rhodey as the blonde approached her. 

“How did a nice girl like you wind up working at a dump like this?” Steve said letting his Brooklyn accent seep in.   
“Fella done me wrong.” She said sultry with a mock frown.   
“You got a lousy taste in men kid.” The soldier teased.   
“He’s not that bad,” Natasha began serious.   
“He’s got this hard exterior about him, but deep down he’s caring and his morals are stronger than anyone I’ve ever known.” She states.   
“All my friends are fighters.” She begins.   
“Then here comes this guy who never backs down from fight. Not knowing if he will win or not, just because it’s the right thing. Because his instinct is to protect people.” The red head says.  
“Sounds like a good guy.” Steve says shyly.   
“He’s also a huge sap.” She jokes.   
“Chicks dig that.” She says with her nose in her martini as she sips it.   
“So what should I do? Should I run with it?” She questions.   
Steve was confused who was this guy. Tony? Banner? Thor? Sam? It all felt wrong. He was puzzled.   
“Well uh did he? Did he do something?” He questions.   
“He hasn’t done a damn thing. But never say never.” She winks as she walks away. 

Steve is left breathless. Could it have been him? He just stares at the enticing sway of her hips as she starts over to the couches.   
“It’s nice.” Steve hears.   
“You and Nat.” Sam finishes.   
“No we aren’t. It wasn’t that.” Steve begins to explain.   
“Whatever man. You’ve loved her since that day you brought her into my house and wrangled me into this crazy journey.” Sam says half joking.   
Steve chuckles.   
The falcon places a hand on the blondes shoulder and locks eyes with him.   
“Look. You’re maybe the world's leading authority on waiting too long. So don’t.” Sam says honestly, all jokes aside, as he walks away before Steve can respond. 

/

They were all gathered around the large coffee table. Most of the guests had left aside from the original avengers with the exception of Sam and Maria who were awfully flirty, as well as Rhodey and Helen who were both perched next to Stark. On Steves right had been Natasha who was casually snuggled into his side as Clint and Tony threw them looks. Shrugging it off since they both seemed comfortable they continued speaking. Somewhere during the time Clint began teasing Thor about being worth to wield his famous hammer. Thor than challenged Clint, which turned everyone’s heads. 

Clint stood and gripped its handle.   
“It’s okay Clint you’ve had a tough week. We won’t hold it against you.” Tony joked from behind.   
Clint groaned as it didn’t budge.   
“Silent judgment.” Tony said.   
“By all means Stark.” Clint offered.   
Tony scoffed and went to lift the hammer.   
“It’s all physics.” He stated.   
Again. Nothing. 

Rhodey and Tony tried together in their iron gauntlets. Followed by Bruce groaning loudly and attempting the same.   
Next was Steve who rolled up his sleeves as Natasha did her best not to drool. When the hammer budget the slightest with a loud creak, Thor’s face dropped. Following that though there was no movement to which Steve gave up, and assumed his prior position next to her.   
“And Widow?” Bruce asked.   
Taking a swig of beer she shook her head.   
“That is not a question I need answered.” She laughed.   
Thor stood and threw up the hammer as if it were weightless.   
“You all are not worthy.” He stated.   
Everyone laughed at this.   
Steve however, leaned in close as his lips touched her ear.   
“I think you’re worthy Nat.” He said deep and throaty.   
Her entire body shuttered. Before she could respond however a screeching sound rang out resembling a dog whistle. Everyone covered their ears at the awful sound as the squeak of metal came marching into the room. 

 

“How could Romanoff be worthy?” The robot asked, it’s glowing eyes on Steve.   
“Romanoff is a killer.” It states.   
Natasha breathes hitches and Steve hears as he stepped forward.   
“How could any of you be worthy?” It asked again mocking its first question.   
“Your all all killers.” The robot reflects.   
“Stark.” Steve said trying to remain calm.   
“Jarvis.” Tony called. 

The robot began talking about a dream and being tangled up in strings, and proceeded to explain how it murdered someone.   
“You killed a guy?” Steve asked, trying to see the extent of this machinery.   
“It wasn’t my first choice.” 

It continues on and reveals more information to which Bruce concludes aloud that it is a variation of Ultron. At this the sound cocking guns and the lift of Thor’s hammer sounds. 

“What is your mission?” Natasha speaks.   
“Peace in our time.” It says as the robots head turns awkwardly as loud crashes sound. 

Two robots resembling Stark’s suits bust through the wall knocking everyone off their feet.   
As the droids began to shoot blue energy at everyone they ran for cover. Before Steve could reach for Natasha she had run down the steps as behind the bar to grab her gun. Figuring she was alright for now he continued his fight. 

The droid shot at the glasses behind the bar as one of the shards cut Natasha’s cheek deep. Blood came gushing out faster than she had expected. She placed both her hands atop her cheek to apply the pressure. 

Romanoff is a killer. 

She hears the robot saying over and over in her head.   
She looks down to the blood staining her hands. 

Your ledger is dripping! It’s gushing red! 

She hears Loki’s voice ring.   
Suddenly a moan escaped her lips as she begins trying to get rid of all the red on her hands but it’s everywhere. Her face, her hands, her neck, hell she can even taste it in her mouth. 

Romanoff is a killer. 

Natasha looks up at the sound of impact of the last robot hitting the suit.   
“That was dramatic.” She hears the bot say, but she’s too focused on the blood to peak at him.   
The thing behind going on a about a plot of mankind and it’s evolution all of which Natasha hears bit and pieces as the blood begins to drip onto the ground. 

“There is only one path to destruction. The extinction of the avengers.” It claims, but before it could carry on Thor vaults his hammer at it, smashing it to smithereens. 

Natasha made no move to get up though. Instead staring blankly at her hands as she felt her cheek still pouring out blood. As she heard a monstrous voice from years ago speak, 

Can you wipe out that much red?

/

Following the attack the gang all went to the lab as Tony and Bruce dreaded be loss of their work. Natasha however scurried off to her room. As she reached the bathroom and got a glimpse at herself she gasped. She was covered in blood, so she picked up a cloth and began to rub herself raw. Five minutes following she picked up the needle and thread and with shaky hands attempted to stitch her cut. As she began to poke her skin with the small needle a knock sounded on her door. 

“Natasha?” He called tentatively, just as he always did.   
She walked to the door and opened it without speaking a word. She walked back to the bathroom and continued her work.   
“Let me Nat.” He says walking in as he places a gentle hand upon hers and grabs the tools.   
He sits her atop the toilet and goes to work.   
“We have to fight.” Steve states as he adds a stitch.   
Natasha looks stoic.   
“What if we lose?” She gulps.   
“Then we do that together.” Steve nods.   
Natasha takes the answer and begins to state what's bothering.   
“You don’t want me on your team Rogers.” Her voice says gruff.   
He stops his work and eyes.   
“I’m a killer.”   
“Natasha-“ He begins until she cuts him off.   
“I can’t save the world!” She heaves.   
Steve searches her eyes for as if he stares into her soul and his gaze burns her.   
“Then avenge it.” He says tucking back a strand of her hair.   
Natasha doesn’t have the energy to disagree as the blood loss is making her loopy. Without another word, she allows him to finish his work. 

After, they wordlessly crawl into bed side by side. Their future isn’t looking bright as they now need to face an enemy, but tonight they’re together. 

/

They had a got a reading on the scepter in Sokovia. Instantly everyone was suited up and on the jet to the small country. When they landed they care face to face with Ultron who was alongside two enhanced twins. The girl with the brown hair and glowing red hands began twirling her fingers before they were transported. 

“Whose ever standing we gotta move.” Clint says into the comm as Steve drops his helmet. 

Natasha hobbles down a set of stairs as she hears Barton say ‘guys.’ And as she touched the banister, the world slips away. 

/

Steve is shivering. He can feel the frost on his lips as his eyes opened. As he mustered the strength to move he realized he couldn’t, he was stuck. As his mind became more awake he realized where he was.   
In the ice. Freezing cold. Clinging to life.   
As he was having an internal freak out voices filled his numb ears. 

Captain America. God's righteous man. Pretending you could live without a war. 

We can go home. 

I’m with you till the end of the line pal. 

You will stay who you are. Not a perfect soldier, but a good man. 

I owe you. 

Steve’s eyes snapped shut trying to drown out the whispers of those around him from the years. How he was helpless unable to get out of this trance. But, the second he shut his eyes he wished he hadn’t. 

He was out of the ice now. Donned in his stealth suit. But this this it was black and tattered and he felt dried blood underneath his nails. As he pushed the steel fortified door he was shocked at what he found in the room. Bodies were littered everywhere. As he observed more closely he saw the lifeless bodies of Barton, Thor, Banner, Stark, Rhodey, Maria, Nick, and Sam. His mind raced hard as he called out one names.   
“Natasha!” He ran in through the next door. 

In the room he found Natasha tied to a chair gagged with wide eyes. And as he looked to the figure holding a gun to her head it was none other than Bucky. 

“Bucky.” Steve cried.   
“Who the hell is Bucky?” The winter soldier challenged.   
In an instance a shot rang out as the bullet ripped through Natasha’s head, and Steve’s eyes snapped open. 

His cheeks were wet as his shaky hands went to press the button to the comm in his ear.   
“Natasha!” He yelled.   
Frantic for a response and closure she was alive. 

/

 

“Natasha!”   
It was faint and drawn out. Her brain hadn’t even registered it as she felt the familiar glide of wood under her hand. 

All the girls were spinning. Looking exhausted, as they were yelled to do it again. 

“You’ll break them.” Natasha stated.   
“Only the breakable ones. You were made of marble.” Madame B stated.   
“What if I fail?” She asked scared.   
“You’ll never fail.” The older woman assured. 

Natasha blinked. 

She was cocking her gun smoothly as the bullets pierced the paper target. 

Natasha blinked again. 

A strong man was choking her out. She could have took him out but was drained and tired of hurting people. She tapped out and sighed.   
“Sloppy. Pretending to fail.” Madame B spat.   
Madame inched closer.   
“The ceremony is necessary for you to take your place in the world.” She claims.   
“I have no place in the world.” Natasha says through her deep breathes.   
“Exactly.” 

Natasha blinks. 

A hand is covering her mouth to repress he screams. They pinch her heard with a sedative as she looks at the gleam of the surgical materials. 

Natasha blinks one last time. 

She wakes up. Her insides are burning and her head is pounding. It dawned on her she now has the inability to carry a child, to start a family. With the chance of no happiness she knows she has no other choice but to be the black widow. As her eyes prick with tears madame B walks in with a file. 

“Black widow. Time for your first mission.” Madame says throwing down the file. 

“Eliminate Captain America.” 

/

Natasha’s eyes snap open at the final three words. She finally loses her footing and crumbles to the ground. 

/

They were all needed a break. Recovering from the visions that plagued them. Natasha had hurt her ankle when he tumbled down the stairs so she was sitting on the jet wrapping it as Clint clicked in the coordinates to their location.   
“Where are we going?” Stark asked daring to break the silence.   
“Somewhere safe.” Clint said curtly. 

/

 

Sometime later they landed the jet in the trees by the house. Steve wordlessly supported Natasha with her bad ankle as they walked toward the house. 

They walked up the narrow pathway and Steve helped Natasha up the porch as Thor spoke.   
“What is this place?” He asked.   
“Safe House.” Tony said.   
“Let’s hope.” Clint muttered opening the door. 

“Honey I’m home.” Barton called out.   
A beautiful pregnant woman emerged from the kitchen.  
“I have company. Sorry I didn’t call ahead.” He said apologetically   
The brunette pecked Clint on the lips.   
“This is an agent of some kind.” Tony said turning to the rest of them.   
“Gentlemen. This is Laura.” Clint introduced.   
The woman smiled awkwardly.   
“I know all of your names.” She stated. 

Small footsteps interrupted before anyone could interrogate further.   
“Incoming.” Clint whispered to turn the corner.   
Two small children children ran as Clint caught one in his arms.   
“Dad!” The little girl called. 

What the fuck? Steve thought.

“Hi sweetheart. Hey buddy.” He says sweetly kissing the boys head. 

“These are smaller agents.” Tony says a bit confused as Steve’s face contorts at the scene. 

“Did you bring Auntie Nat?” The young girl asks as Steve’s eyes follow her. 

“Why don’t you hug her and find out?” Natasha asked for behind. 

The little girl bolted as Natasha scooped her off her feet. Steve couldn’t help but smile at the scene. To see how good Natasha was with the young girl. 

Damn. How much he wants that with her right now... 

/

 

Clint explains that it is intact his family and the details were left off of shields files so to keep it secret. After he appoints each of them to a room. Being they hadn’t expected such company they were doubled up. Being that Thor has gone Tony and Bruce were escorted to one bedroom, and Steve and Natasha to the other. Natasha hadn’t turned up as Steve saw her walking into the adjacent barn. He took this opportunity to shower. 

His mind ran rapid as his dream haunted him. Being stuck in the ice. All his friends dead around him. And Bucky as their murder. Bucky, murdering the woman he loves. With these thoughts he shuts off the water and grabs the towel. After drying off he changes into sweats and t shirt, and exits the bathroom. 

He is surprised to find Natasha gazing out the window wrapped in a robe. 

“Nat.” He said a bit of edge in his voice as he could see her stare full of something that didn’t sit well. 

She turned suddenly after flinching and offered her best attempt at a smile.   
“Soldier.” Her voice said raspy, betraying the smile on her face. 

Steve inched closer as the wet of his hair offered a small drip noise in the seemingly quiet room. He looked into her sad green eyes, and he looked tentatively. The look was all too familiar, almost as if it mirrored his own.   
“You had it too.” He said not really as a question.   
Natasha’s eyes shut quickly and she took a sharp intake of breath.   
Steve saw this response, and walked toward the bed where he sat at its edge. He softly patted the space next to him to which Natasha complied and sat down.   
“It was cold at first. Freezing. It didn’t even take me to open my eyes to know exactly what was going on, that I was back in the ice.” Steve spoke as his hands involuntarily began to fiddle with the edge of his shirt.   
“Then when I opened my eyes, the voices came. Things I’ve been told over the years like the past whatever decades in my life we’re all relived in that very moment. It was too much to bare so I shut them again. Living my past isn’t something I want to, something I’ve been working on not doing. But what she showed me almost made me wish I could relive it over and over.” He said his voice growing hoarse.   
Natasha gently grabbed his large hand to stop from shaking.   
“What was it Steve?” She said softly.   
“My future. Or a possible version of it.”   
Natasha gave his hand a squeeze. As if she was passing along the strength for him to explain.   
“There were bodies everywhere. Banner, Thor, Rhodey, Hull, Fury, Barton, Stark, Sam.” He listed shakily.   
Natasha registered it and realized her own name was excluded.   
“I walked through a door and all at once it hit me. You were tied down with a gun to your head, and at the other end was Bucky. When I told him to stop and remember who he was, he couldn’t, and he... he killed you.” He said breathless.   
“All of you.” He finished.   
“I couldn’t save any of you or him.” Steve said as he sniffled. 

His chest rapidly rose and fell to which Natasha cradled her head in her arms and began shushing him.   
“Hey it’s okay. When this is all over you and I, we’re gonna find him. Get your Bucky back.” She promised.   
Steve looked up to her like a lost puppy.   
“We will?” He said in disbelief.   
She nods slowly.   
“We will.” She assured.   
Moments after Steve pulled away and looked back at her. Her eyes were still sad as he eased at the discussion and sharing his vision. 

“What about you Nat?” He questioned.   
“Huh?” She said caught off guard.   
“Your vision, dream, hallucination.” Whatever it was.   
“Mine was more like a memory. A terrible one I never thought I’d have to relive.” She stated.   
Steve’s eyes pleaded for more.   
“I was back in the red room. Where I was trained. At first I thought it was an opportunity for dancing but I was wrong. They pushed us to do unthinkable things, and no matter what you could never fail.”   
Like her, Steve grabbed her small hand in his.   
“When they believe you’re ready for uh the final phase you undergo a graduation ceremony.” Natasha said as a tear streamed down her pale cheek.   
“They sterilize you.” She chokes out.   
“They take away the one thing that may be more important than a mission. Take away any chance of a normal life.” Natasha cries out.   
Steve hugs her. A few minutes into embrace they pulled away.   
“I shouldn’t have told you. I shouldn’t tell anyone.” She sniffled regretfully.   
Steve pulled back and gripped her shoulders.   
“You can tell me anything.” He said honestly.   
As his baby blue eyes looked into her own, she believed it.  
“Anything?” She questioned.   
He nodded.   
“My first mission. I was uh, I was sent to eliminate you.”   
Steve was puzzled.   
“By the time I woke up from the ice, you were already a shield agent. I didn’t think they were trying to get rid of me?” He said confused.   
“No.” She said harshly.   
“Not shield. The red room.” She gulps.   
Steve’s confusion grows.   
“I never got the job done. You crashed into the ice before the red room got their window.” She explained.   
“But Nat that was in what the 40’s there’s no way.” He said shaking his head.   
“Yes there is.”   
“There is Steve.” She said turning to him as her eyes grew wide.   
“I was a test. Of many experiments. I was even injected with a variation of the serum that slows down the aging process.”   
Steve was flabbergasted.   
“Natalia Alianovna Romanova. November twenty second, nineteen twenty eight.” She offered under her lashes. 

The realization hit Steve. The words she spoke to him years before on the hanger. How well she is able to relate to someone adapting to new times, knowing the struggles between now and then. He stared at her awestruck.   
“I wanted to tell you. I did but, I just couldn’t. No one knows. Just Clint knows my age. But the ceremony... he has no idea. I’m sorry.” She offers.   
“Hey, no don’t apologize. I’m glad I know. It doesn’t change anything about you, about us.” He offers.   
“Besides the fact your nearly as old as I am grandma.” He says trying to lighten the mood.   
She stifles a chuckle. But both are still exhausted from the day. Steve notes the fact.   
“Let’s rest.” Steve orders.   
Natasha scoots back and slips under the duvet as Steve follows suit.   
They find warmth in one another’s arm. 

Knowing that having the others comfort some how is able to protect them from the nightmares that plague them. 

/

Sometime following their nap the pair was awoken by a loud bang on the door followed by Clint yelling ‘dinner’. Both Steve and Natasha rose from their bed and down the stairs. 

When Natasha reached the bottom Lila snatched her hand and dragged her to the table. Steve smiled at the scene and made his way to the kitchen where he found himself face to face with Nick Fury. The two had somewhat lengthy conversation mostly about Steve’s search for Bucky and Nicks destruction of Hydra cells. Both grew bored of the conversation being the pressing issues at hand so Steve decided to go to the table and finally eat. However, on the way in he got distracted by the scene presented. 

He leaned against the open door frame with his arms crossed over his chest. Natasha was humming something to Lila as they both scribbled on the printer paper with crayons. The girl began to giggle as Natasha leaned in closer and tickled her.   
“What did you draw kid?” Natasha asked still unaware of Steve’s presence.   
“That’s you,” the little girl began pointing.   
“Over there is daddy and mommy, and her belly is big with little Nate. Next to her is Cooper.” She finished.   
“And who's that behind all of us?” Natasha questioned.   
Lila perked up.   
“That is Mr.Steve, and Mr.Bruce, and Mr.Stark, and Mr.Thor.” She said innocently.   
“I drew them because I thought maybe that since they’re daddy’s friends they could all be my uncles like your my aunt. That they could be apart of our family like you are.” She smiled.   
Natasha sniffled. Lila was so precious and meant the world to her. The fact that after everything had come up about never being able to carry a child and having the little girl utter those words comforted the black widow. 

Steve now felt he may have been intruding on something and decided to clear his throat.   
“Am I interrupting something ladies?” He teased.   
Natasha smiled as did Lila.   
“No Mr.Steve Auntie Nat and I were just drawing, would you like to join us?” She asked.   
Before Steve could answer he was cut off by Clint.   
“Lila time for bed!” He called.   
“Dad!” She whined.   
“No buts. I already let you stay up and draw with Nat, but if you don’t go sleep soon Moms gonna be mad.” He explained.   
She frowned.   
“Okay.” She said solemnly.   
The little girl leaned over and hugged Natasha.   
“Goodnight munchkin.” Nat whispered.   
The little girl pulled away and looked at her with sad eyes.   
“When will I see you again?”   
Natasha shivered. Of course she knew with the job there was always a chance she wouldn’t come back, but this time it felt different. Like this was gonna be it.   
“I’m not sure Lila. As soon as I can come back I will, I promise.” Natasha said a bit sad and kissed her head.   
Lila nodded and hopped off the chair as Clint carried her upstairs. 

Steve offered Natasha a small smile as she took a much needed swig if beer. Before either could carry on conversation Nick walked in calling for their attention. 

He began to talk to things like national security, and their best bet on beating Ultron.   
“Outwit the platinum bastard.” Nick says sitting down.   
“Steve doesn’t like that kind of talk.” Natasha teases as she raises an eyebrow.   
“You know what Romanoff?” He challenges in a mock tone.   
The two laugh a bit to themselves as Fury finishes his statement. 

/ 

Sometime after, Bruce comes to the revelation that Ultron is evolving. With that in mind the team collaborates and comes up with a plan to retrieve the cradle from Sokovia. Once that had been settled everyone began to filter out of the room to get some rest for the big day for tomorrow. 

Naturally, the only people left behind had been Steve, Natasha, and Tony.  
“I’m beat. I’m going to hit the sack. Hopefully Brucey won’t snore too loud.” He winks as he trudged up the steps.   
Steve and Nat are now left and the room feels heavy and dense. But Steve honestly isn’t that sure why the sudden shift occurs, that is until Natasha speaks.   
“Steve.” She says seriously.   
“Promise me. Whatever happens tomorrow, you’ll do your best to stay safe.” She all but pleads.   
Steve’s breath hitches. He knows he can’t promise his survival right now.   
“Please.” She adds.   
Steve looks at her with his large blue eyes.   
“I’ll do my best ma’am.” He says with a grumbly voice as he offers a ghost of a smile. However his eyes are sad.   
“This is two way street though. You need to promise me the same.” He offers.   
Natasha offers a dark chuckle.   
“You might be in the wrong business Rogers.” She states.   
“Natasha.” He cuts off seriously.   
Her eyes grow wide as her green eyes bore into his own.   
She begins to nod slowly.   
“Okay.” She offers.   
Rather than responding, Steve extends a hand to her, and she takes it. Steve leads the two to their shared room as the two rest for the long day ahead. 

/

So far things had been going decent. Natasha of course came in clutch with Steve’s shield riding in on a motorcycle and the sight nearly made Steve faint. And he probably would have if it wasn’t for the homicidal robot army. The two fought effortlessly along one another as Natasha had made good use of Steve’s shield and he had her back more than once. Clint announced into the comms that one of them needed to make haste and get to the cradle. Natasha said she would as Steve followed the robot to a freight train filled with civilians. 

He was focused on his task of keeping everyone safe alongside the two enhanced twins who he was somewhat pissed at but didn’t even have the time to voice the fact. Being he was doing another task he failed to hear most the commotion going on in his ear. 

Natasha has hitched a ride on the back of a flying truck to which she jumped from one spot to the other in order to get the cradle. Just as she thought she was in the clear, as it slipped from the trucks be and onto the jet seamlessly. She felt a cold death grip on her ankle. Clint panicked as he had began to call out Natasha’s name and got no response.   
“Captain have you seen Nat!” He called.   
No answer.   
He just heard muffles and clanks from his operation below. 

A minute or so later Steve had successfully stopped the train with some help. As he caught his breath he finally recognized the voice in his ear.   
“Steve!” Clint yelled angrily.   
“Barton.” Steve got out.   
“She’s gone Captain.” Barton yelled again.   
Steve paused. He didn’t even need the name he knew who she was.   
“Ultron he took her.” Clint finished more calm.   
“Fuck.” Was all Steve had managed before   
“What is wrong?” The brunette girl asked.   
“We need to go. We need to make sure the cradle will get to Stark.” Was all Steve could manage.   
“No.” The girl said.   
“Starks not crazy.” Steve was in no mood to argue about this, not with Natasha gone.   
“He will do anything to make this right.” The girl said.   
Steve knew that it could be true. He was too discombobulated and registering Natasha’s fate to care all that much.   
“There are things I need to make right! So the quicker we get the damn thing to Stark the better. Okay?” He said harshly.   
The twins nodded as Steve walked off. They followed behind.   
“What’s got him in a tizzy?” Steve heard the boy ask.   
“Love.” Wanda stated.   
Steve turned quickly. Could he really deny it anymore?   
“Don’t go poking around in his head sister. It’s not nice.” Pietro said.   
“Please. I didn’t need to. It’s obvious.” She explained.   
Pietro nodded in agreement.   
“Look Captain. We will offer all the help we can give, and we will help you get this woman back.” Pietro added.   
Wanda smiled to her brother.   
Steve softened.   
“Thank you.” He said grateful as the trio continued on.

/

Natasha’s head was pounding as she laid across the concrete. The noise of metal hitting one another along with steam pumping filled her ears.   
“I wasn’t sure you’d wake up. I’d hope you would, I wanted to show you.” The robot voice explained.   
Natasha became more aware of what was going on as the memories flooded her. She sat up slowly to observe what he was doing.   
“I don’t have anyone else.” He said trying to sound sad, but he was a robot it had no genuine meaning.   
“I think a lot about meteors. The purity of them,” He starts.   
Natasha is confused she has no idea where he’s going with this.   
“Boom.” He says suddenly.   
“The end. Start again. The world made clean for the new man to rebuild. I was meant to be new. I was meant to be beautiful. The world would’ve looked to the sky and seen hope. And seen mercy.” He explained.   
Natasha was having trouble breathing. She knew she was stuck, she couldn’t take Ultron alone nevertheless injured and in such a state.   
“Instead they’ll look up in horror because of you.” He says coldly as he walks forward.   
Natasha does her best to push herself away but is just to weak.   
“You’ve wounded me. I’ll give you marks for that. Like the man said what doesn’t kill him-“ the robot is cut off by someone clenching his head and burning it.   
Natasha scatters back at the sight.   
“Just makes me stronger.” A voice says as a new amplified version of Ultron walks toward her.   
Natasha pushes herself further as he lifts up a hand. In fear Natasha closes her eyes to brace herself from impact of a hit, but instead is met by the noise of metal scraping against metals a a cell door is closed.   
“Shit.” Is all she manages.

/

Vision had just been unleashed and booted. There was nothing anyone could do now that it had happened, and after a heated confrontation between the twins and the rest of his team Steve was growing pissed.   
“Guys!” He yelled.   
Everyone turned to him and stopped the bickering.   
“We need to go back. He got her. He got Natasha.” Steve says sadly.   
Bruce dropped his hands from around Wanda’s neck. Tony looked up from his computer as Thor and him locked eyes. Clint just looked sad.   
“We leave in five.” Steve demanded as he paced out of the room. 

/

They had all boarded the jet and made way for Sokovia again. Everyone has been silent knowing this affected them, especially Steve.   
“Cap.” Tony called weakly.   
Steve’s head snapped up as their eyes connected.   
“It’ll be alright.” He said trying to comfort Steve.   
“I just need to get her back.” Steve stated.   
Tony nodded knowing he did. He knew Steve loved Natasha. 

/

They had managed to find her location. With the robot army still on the loose they had to split up. Steve was sent, no needed, to go get Natasha himself. As he pushed through the heavy doors and down the stairs to a dungeon like place. He saw her huddled up in the corner. 

Natasha heard the breaking of a door and figured it to be Ultron again. She put her hands over her ears.   
“Natasha!” She heard a worried voice call.   
She jumped up at the sound thinking it wasn’t real. Moments later Steve came running up in all his glory.   
“Soldier.” She cracked out.   
“Step back.” He said.   
She did so as he broke the lock to the cell with his shield and flew it open. Following this Steve dropped his shield and ran toward Natasha. He captured her in his arms and clung to her like no tomorrow. She responded with the same. He pulled away not too long after.   
“You promised.” He said. He didn’t sound angry though, just hurt.   
“I know Steve. I tried to keep it, I really did.” She swore.   
He nodded as he brushed hair back from her face.   
“Come on. We aren’t done yet.” He tells her.   
She nods in response as he plants a tender kiss to her forehead. He then grabs her hand as the two run out and back to battle. 

/

They’re standing atop rubble. Looking out as the country floats higher and higher into the sky.   
“I’m not leaving this rock with one civilian on it.” He says a bit stern.   
“I didn’t say we should leave.” Natasha says softly.   
She begins shaking her head as the hair blows in her face. Steve looks at her surprised, she really would go to the ends of the earth for him. She turns to face him.   
“There’s worse ways to go.” She offers with a sad smile.   
Looking back out to the sky, she speaks.   
“Where else am I gonna get a view like this?” She questions.   
Steve smiles at his partner. They were in this together. 

/

Shortly after they finally defeat Ultron. They owe their success to the Maximoff girl. However the sudden tragedy of her brothers death sets her off into a spiral, it was ultimately Ultron down fall. She does agree to come back to the tower to be trained properly. They had just landed when everyone scurried from the jet. Natasha went to go knows where, Clint headed home, Bruce is gone, somewhere out there as the Hulk, as Thor, Tony and Steve walked across the land.   
“Where are you headed now?” Steve asks the pair.   
“I’m off to Asgard. I have business to attend to. Maybe find Banner.”Thor states.   
They nod and exchange a look.   
“Farewell brothers. Hopefully next time we can meet in better circumstances.” The god smiles as he wields his hammer to the sky.   
Steve and tony look up in bewilderment.   
“And you? Your planning on sticking around?” Steve asked.   
“Nah. I trust you’ll watch over the place while I go on a nice vacation.” Tony says walking toward his car.   
“You have my word.” Steve says.   
“What will you do Captain?” Tony asks.   
“Lead a team.” He says.   
“Alone?” Tony questions.   
“No. With my partner.” Steve smiles.   
Tony does too and extends a hand.   
They shake them, as Steve turns to go.   
“Cap!” Tony calls.   
Steve turns back around.   
“Don’t wait too long.” He calls out.   
Steve nods and heads into the facility. 

/

Natasha stares blankly at the wall. After receiving the image of baby Nathaniel she couldn’t help but smile. However, shortly after her mind went back to the dark place of not ever being able to have that. To have the privilege to carry and birth a child of her own flesh and blood. She would never even be able to offer that for someone else. Natasha was sad to say the least, but she was so exhausted and drained from the last few days and everything that took place she couldn’t muster energy to cry. She was so distracted by her emotions she failed to notice the foot falls coming toward her. 

“Wanna keep staring at the wall or do you wanna go to work?” Steve teased.   
Natasha turned and tried her best to shake off the sadness.   
“Very funny. Let’s go.” She said walking up to him.   
They continue walking and almost like Natasha couldn’t keep it in She speaks.   
“Laura had her baby. Nathaniel.” She blurts out.   
Steve stops and she follows suit.   
“That’s great.” He says a bit unsure of how he should react.   
She doesn’t respond.   
“That is great right?” He asks dumbly.   
“Yes of course it is! I’m happy it’s just that...” Natasha starts.   
“It’s just that it brings up things you haven’t been ready to face?” Steve imposes.   
Natasha nods.   
“Yeah.” She says weakly.   
“When your ready to face it. Like completely, I’ll be here to help. Until then what do you say we go whip these guys into shape.” He smiles.   
She smiles back and nods.   
“After you partner.” She says.   
Steve smile grows.   
Her being his partner will never get old.   
Steve recollects himself and bursts through the doors.   
“Avengers!” He calls to the misfits.   
“Assemble.” He finishes.   
Natasha grins behind him, ready to take on this next step as leaders together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drop a review below! I can't believe I am nearly half way with this work. Next up will be Steve & Natasha growing closer as they train the new recruits, and they become the center of many jokes (in regards to being in love) from the newbies! Stay tuned :)


	5. Captain America & Black Widow: Continuing as Avengers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is Post Age of Ultron, and Pre Civil War. It explores how all of the other avengers seemed to have taken a step back, while Natasha and Steve continue on together. It contains: How the new recruits view the pairs relationship, Steve and Nat quality time, Natasha having a nightmare, the search for Bucky, and Nat comforting Steve as he comes to a realization. Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its been too long! I think I have to finish this fic before focusing all my attention back into Baggage. I hope you enjoy this, it is both challenging but fun to write these in-between segments without going off a lot of canon events, so please review!  
> Follow my Steve/Nat editing account @stevercgrs on Instagram in the mean time! I video edit romanogers!

Natasha groaned loudly as her sore and sweaty body made contact with the cushions. These actions were repeated a mere three seconds later by her partner.  
“Tired?” She teased Steve, her voice hoarse.  
“I should be asking you. You’re the one that had to spar with Sam for three hours.” Steve mumbled.  
“Mmm.” Was all Nat could manage.  
The agreement had been that if Sam had beat her one on one, than everyone was free for the day. However, this never happened and eventually Steve and Natasha called it a day. Training the new recruits had been nothing but exhausting, but having each other made it easier.  
“How about we clean up and watch a movie.” Steve offered, a bit nervous.  
Sure, they had hung out time and time again, yet his heart still jumped, and his nerves buzzed whenever he awaited her answer.  
“I don’t know soldier.” She chuckled.  
Steve knew that voice, he knew she was kidding.  
“How about I throw in some take out?” He added.  
“Then I say, we have a deal.” She said turning her head to wink.  
He blushed madly, as she stood up from the couch. Her red hair, longer than before, bounced around her shoulders, and her hips swayed enticingly as she made way to her quarters.  
“See you soon Steve!” The spy called in her wake.  
Steve grinned. That woman was something else.  
————

 

Steve, now free of any sweat that covered his body nearly an hour ago was clean. His facial hair was neatly trimmed, as he dabbed on some after shave. He knew that he was being a little silly, but he felt the perk up on appearance for Natasha, not matter what occasion. Knowing she would probably be in shorts and a hoodie, he settles for grey sweats and a tight black t-shirt. Slipping his jacket over his shoulders, the blonde grabs his wallet, and exits his room. 

As Steve passed the common area he noticed two heads on the couch. He recognized them immediately and internally groaned, hoping you go unnoticed.  
“Where you off to Cap?” Rhodey spoke as he turned his head.  
Damnit.  
It was nice to know at least the spy training was paying off.  
“Just to pick up some takeout.” He said casually.  
Rhodey nodded, Sam’s head remained planted to the television.  
“Where from?” The older of the two prodded.  
“Um just some thai food.” Steve responded, getting increasingly nervous.  
“Never pegged you for a thai food type of guy.” Rhodey jokes.  
“He’s not.” The other voice sad.  
Bingo. This is what Steve was dreading.  
Suddenly, Sam's eyes were piercing his own.  
“Natasha likes thai food.” Sam grins madly, wiggling his eyebrows.  
“Sam.” Steve warns through gritted teeth.  
“Hey man, I’m just stating facts. I’ve lived with you two a while.” Sam defended, still unable to wipe the smile from his face. 

Steve, Sam, and Natasha had endured a lot together the past years. They both assisted Steve during the demise of shield, and his midst his wild goose chase for Bucky, a man neither even knew. That bonded the trio in ways that Steve has trouble to comprehend. Losing Bucky was without a doubt one of the hardest things he has ever had to face, and getting a second chance at a best friend, a brother, baffles Steve. With Sam filling some of the void his childhood friend left behind, Steve shared a lot with Sam. One of those things being the fact that he was in love with Natasha. It scared him to death, he trusted Sam, but being able to admit it to someone makes him more confused than ever. Sam encouraged Steve to share the feeling with Natasha, positive she reciprocated it, but Steve was in denial. Deep down the confidence of the scrawny kid from Brooklyn, and his confidence still loomed heavy on the Captain's mind, especially with Natasha. 

“Well if you’ll excuse me. I don’t want my dinner to get cold.” Steve gulped, backing out of the room to the elevator. 

Once out of earshot Sam cackled loudly, as Rhodey joined him.  
“Think he’ll ever ‘fess up?” War machine thought aloud.  
“Probably. But not until another catastrophic event.” Sam sighs.  
Rhodey nods. The pair falls in silence for a few moments.  
“So… should you call and tel; Stark they’ve had dinner everyday this week or should I?” Rhodey speaks.  
Sam laughs and pulls out his cell phone.  
“I’ll put it on speaker.” He laughs.  
————

Natasha pushed herself from her bed, using judgment that Steve was probably settled in and ready for dinner. Looking in the mirror she smoothed out her black shorts and all too big U.S. military sweatshirt, and glides out her door. As she rounds the corner, she collides with another body, similar to hers in size.  
“Sorry Nat.” Wanda says, trying not to knock strawberries from her bowl.  
“It’s okay.” Natasha smiles.  
Despite the shaky start in Sokovia, Natasha has grown fond of the girl. Nat can empathize well with the challenges that life has thrown at Wanda, and it was nice to have another female presence around.  
“I just had the pizza Sam got for dinner, It’s really good. I’d hurry to the kitchen before they eat it all.” Wanda chuckles.  
“It’s fine, I got thai.” The redhead explains.  
Wanda cocks an eyebrow to the assassin.  
“You got thai, or Steve got thai,” Wanda says suggestively.  
“Goodbye Wanda.” Nat says casually pushing past her.  
As the woman leaves her line of sight, the witch giggles to herself. Telepathy or not, it doesn’t take a genius to know that the spy was crazy for the soldier.  
————

The door sounds open, and Steve doesn’t flinch, he used to this, used to her coming in.  
“Howdy partner.” She says poking his shoulder from behind where he sits on the couch.  
“Hey.” He turns to face her.  
Call him soft, but his breath hitches a little. She looks beautiful like this. Her fiery hair pulled back into a braid, her green eyes shining under the light, and his all too big sweatshirt swallowing her whole.  
“Did you hear me Steve?” She says nuding him.  
“Huh?” He shakes his head, drawing him back to reality.  
“I said we can watch this new horror movie that came out after dinner.” She restates.  
“Oh sure, foods on the table.” The soldier points.  
Natasha licks her lips and leaps to her chair. Scooping some of her noodles she moans loudly at the first bite.  
“Never gets old.” She says through chews. 

Steve chuckles as they fall into conversation about what's up with their fellow Avengers. Both talk to Tony often, he decided to take some time and travel around with Pepper, which he seems to never be happier about. Nat talks to Clint a lot as well, and she and Steve plan to visit the farm within the month. Thor has apparently sent some messages to Tony saying he is okay, but getting in touch with Bruce has been impossible. The pair knows he would most likely reach out to Tony first, so it was a waiting game, something they were all too familiar with. 

“So what about you?” Nat asks, her voice softening.  
“What about me?” He asks a bit puzzled.  
“Hows my favorite soldier doing?” She clears up, her voice almost in a whisper as her hair falls from her braid in small tendrils.  
His heart beat speeds up, and his eyes widen.  
“Things have been crazy training the new recruits, and I know searching for Barnes on top of that all, it's a lot Steve.” She explains.  
He nods slowly.  
“It is.” He clarifies.  
Nat gazes up at him, her emerald green eyes melting into his ocean blue ones.  
“But you make it easier.” The blonde continues reaching for her seemingly smaller hand.  
“Nat I don’t think I could do any of this without you. The training, the look for Bucky. You never had to do any of it, and yet you do.”  
Natasha smiles, and it's the most genuine thing he thinks he’s ever seen.  
“Well, I think I may have been wrong.” She whispers.  
“Huh?” He says his brows furrowing.  
“I think we might in the right business Rogers.” She says her hand smoothing over his knuckles.  
He smiles back to her as they stare at one another a moment longer. Drinking in the stillness they rarely get. Time passes, but for them it feels like the world is still, that is until Nat cellars her voice.  
“How about that movie soldier?” She offers with raised brows and a tight lipped smile.  
He nods, and takes away any remnants of dinner.  
————

The pair find themselves on the couch in no time, and more importantly the pairs find themselves intertwined with one another. Natasha is leaning into Steves side, her head on his chest as his arm is draped around her shoulder, absently playing with the ends of her hair. 

Someway into the film, Steve hears her soft snoring in his ear. He adjusts himself to get up and shut off the television, until she's grabbing his hand. The redhead mumbles something incoherent Steve shishes her and places a kiss atop her crown. As he moves around, her mumbling continues, causing him to chuckle. Returning to her, he scoops her up gently and carries her into his bedroom. Placing her down gently, he settles next to her. This was a routine for them. Her head eventually finds his chest, as his arm returns around her middle, and soon enough they're both asleep.  
———— 

 

Natasha is shivering. Maybe falling asleep in shorts was not such a good idea, especially since there is nothing she hates more than the cold. Slipping out of bed, she places her hand on the knob to her closet to grab some sweatpants. However, when it swings open she is meant by mounds of snow. She turns quickly to go back to the door, to her room. But, there nothing but landscape.  
“Hello!” Her voice rips through the air, as she crosses her arms in attempts to stay warm.  
“Over here.” A whisper says over her shoulder.  
Turning again toward the voice, the door is back, and soon enough she is entering through it. The second she steps in, she wish she hadn’t, that she could be anywhere else.  
“Choose one. Or all will suffer.” Madame B’s voice sounds heavily into her ear.  
Tears stream her face as her vision blurs. In Front of her tied to the chair is each of her avengers, looking as terrified as she is.  
“I can’t” She sobs.  
“You will.” her tormentor responds.  
“I can’t!” She yells, her knees scraping the concrete floor.  
“You were always stubborn Natalia.” Madame B says.  
In an instance, shots ring through the air. 

“No!” Natasha screams as she is startled awake.  
Steve jolts awake at this and without hesitation captures her in both his arms.  
“Hey you’re okay.” He says pushing her damp hair from her face.  
“Where are you?” He asks.  
This is a routine they follow.  
“New York.” She breathes through cries.  
“Good, and who am I?” He tries.  
“Steve Rogers.” She exhales.  
“Hear that Nat, you’re safe, you’re home.” And he doesn’t mean to say it, but he just does.  
Her breathing stops and her cries. Home. Home isn’t the Avengers facility upstates, home is here, in Steve's arms.  
“I’m home.” She whispers wiping her tears.  
Her head turns to meet his own.  
“Remember all those years ago, when I promised you I’d never run without you.” Her groggy voice speaks.  
He nods.  
“You have to promise me the same.” She is practically begging.  
And fuck, it scares Steve shitless. He’s never wanted to promise anyone the world until this very moment.  
“Of course.” He agrees kissing her forehead.  
“I’d promise you the world if I could.” He whispers and its low, so god damn low. Had they not been in the stillness of the tonight it would have gone unheard.  
Natasha just lets another tear slip, as she places a kiss on his cheek. The spot tingles where her lips were, and he pushes her to lay back. Steve grabs onto her, and she clings tightly.  
You’re supposed to find safety within your own home, and here in his arms, she knows he provides just that.  
————

 

Nat manages to fall into a deep sleep, emotionally and physically exhausted from the previous day. She is displeased to be awakened from her slumber from a loud alert on her phone. Like her, Steve jumps at the noise. She grabs the device and read the incoming message.  
“Everything okay?” He worries.  
“Up and at em’ soldier, I just got a tip.” She says yawning.  
“Where to this time?” He asks already sifting for his duffle bag.  
“Canada.” She replies.  
————

“I will take the pull out couch.” Nat tells the trio.  
Wanda and Sam don’t protest, all too excited to have their own full beds. Wanda has been coming on their adventures while tracking Bucky not only is she a good asset, but it's good experience and Steve and Natasha trust Vision and Rhodey to watch the tower. Steve almost looks betrayed at the statement, but it’s all in good fun.  
“We will take the pull out couch.” He says picking her up and throwing her seemingly weightless body over his shoulder.  
Natasha giggles loudly at the action, and Steve's laughs can be heard as well as they filter into the living area. 

“They make me sick.” Sam says, but his smile betrays him.  
Wanda chuckles.  
“You think they’ll ever tell eachother?” Wanda questions.  
“Wait who told you-” Sa, begins suspicious of her serious tone.  
“No one, I-” Wanda starts.  
“Look Wanda you know how pissed Natasha would be if you were sneaking around in her head.” Sam scolds.  
Wanda laughs a little at this.  
“No one had to tell me Sam.” She confirms.  
“I’ve known since Ultron.” The witch states.  
“Ultron?” Sam asks, he missed the events that ensued.  
“He took Nat, and I had met Steve wright after the fact. He was completely torn up, angry, confused, sad. It was love if I ever saw it.”  
“Sounds like him.” Sam agrees.  
“I was more shocked to find out they weren’t together from the way he was acting you’d think they were married.” The brunette chuckles.  
The room grows silent. Wanda takes this as a cue to crawl under the duvet, as Sam flicks off the lamp next to his bed. The room is completely dark when Sam speaks again.  
“They’ll figure it out eventually.” He says.  
Wanda's neck turns to make out his silhouette.  
“Life's too short.” Falcon finishes seriously, before turning to sleep. 

————  
The tip was no good. Again another dead end, it was one after another, and Steve was getting tired of it. 

They all enter the hotel room in their dripping wet suits, Wanda and Sam disappear to their area and shut the door, as a very irritated Steve sits on the couch. His anger slowly fades into sadness, as Natasha tries to approach him.  
“Steve.” She tries softly.  
Nothing.  
“Steve, come on, this isn’t the end.” She explains.  
Steve is on his feet in a moment looking down at her, fire in his eyes. She has to refrain from cowering away over his tall and scary stance.  
“Quit.” He spits.  
Natasha looks hurt.  
“It’s no use. I brought you out here to find him.” He says still angry  
“How crazy am I? Dragging you around to save a man that the only time you met he shot you. Point blank. You could’ve died.” Steve says sitting back on the couch and tears are falling from his eyes.  
“It’s all my fault. All the bad he’s been doing, it's on me, if I just had saved him.” His voice lowering as he sobs into his hands.  
“The truth is you didn’t save him.” Natasha deadpans.  
Steve's head snaps up.  
“But there’s nothing that's is going to get done, if you keep living in the past. All we have is now, and now is the chance to make this right.” She explains.  
“I need to make it right. But Wanda, Sam, you… you don’t owe this.” He says through a hoarse voice.  
Natasha courtches, bother her hands finding his.  
“I want to.” Is all she can say.  
“Why?” He says through glassy eyes and the lump in his throat.  
She freezes, because she knows she can’t lie to him.  
“Because what’s important to you is important to me.” She starts.  
“What scares you I want to tear apart, and what makes you happy makes me happy.” She breathes.  
Steve's face has a ghost of a smile.  
“You Steve Rogers are my partner, and with that is a vow that we face everything together.” She says her hand atop his cheek.  
He leans into it.  
“Plus you can’t go anywhere, not without me.” She says becoming choked up herself.  
His hand wraps around her wrist as his eyes flutter shut. He couldn’t do it without her, not now, not ever. Despite anything, he comprehends what he’s feeling.  
And with that he speaks:  
“Not without you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed! Next is Civil War, which I am so excited for! I think I'm going to add Endgame once I've watched and depending on events post Endgame, or at least how I would have wanted it.  
> In the mean time how do you guys feel about Nat/Bucky belong Fury's adoptive children and Steve, Bucky's best friend, falls in love with Nat? Let me know!  
> You can follow my Steve/Nat editing account @stevercgrs on Instagram as well :)  
> Please review!


	6. Captain America: Civil War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Captain America: The Winter Soldier.   
> Steve feels guilty as if hes dragged Natasha along on his search for Bucky. The soldier gets bad news causing him to leave without a word, sending Natasha into a panic. They find each other but the events of the accords come in their way as those play on their biggest weakness. Each other.   
> *No Steve/Sharon*  
> I also haven't done grammar check on the chapter (nothing more than spell check) yet so if you read this early on, I'm sorry :/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I was excited for this chapter but I struggled a lot? I didn't want Nat to come off as weak at all but I wanted to show how much their partnership meant since I feel like Steve's more open about it? I don't know please review when it's done. And I promise I don't hate Tony Stark.   
> Follow my stevenat editing account @stevercgrs to keep up with me ;)

“Alright what do you see?” Steve’s low voice rang in her ears.   
“Standard beat cops. Small station. Quiet street. It’s a good target.” Wanda responded.   
Natasha couldn’t help but let her lips pull into a smile as she sipped her coffee. Wanda was getting good at this, she’s come so far, and it’s almost as if Natasha sees parts of herself in the Witch.   
Steve replies to the younger avenger as he looks through the small crack in between the curtains of the window. He knows he needs to be focused on the mission, pay attention to what Wansa is describing but his eyes find Natasha. They always find Natasha. He exhales a breath he didn’t know he was holding at the sight of her. God he doesn’t think he's been so thankful for anyone in his life. Natasha has followed him to the ends of the earth, literally, to find a man that may be too far gone, a man that once came close to taking her life. So many months later, here she was, finding a new lead with him. Rumlow.   
He pulled out of the trance when her voice come through his ear piece.   
“Looking over your shoulder needs to become second nature.”   
Steve smiles at the comment.   
First rule about being on the run… don’t run, walk.   
The phrase is burned into his memories, as Sam and Nat baneter over the comms. It's crazy that something his chaotic can bring him comfort, right?   
“Eyes on target folks. This is the best lead we've had on Rumlow in six months. I don’t wanna lose him.” Steve instructs remembering the task at hand. 

-  
After tagging the garbage truck, all hell breaks loose. Wanda's powers come in handy as she redirects the dangerous gas inside the lab. Steve enteres, almost catching Rumlow, but he gets away. Groaning, he speaks into his comm:   
“Rumlow has a biological weapon.”   
“On it.” Natasha’s voice comes a moment later. 

The Black Widow seemingly takes down seven of Rumlow lackeys before coming in contact with him. Activating her widows bites she plants it right on his neck and lets out a jolt. When Rumlow doesn’t falter, her eyes widen in fear.   
“I don’t work like that no more.” He bites out, pushing her into the truck.   
She lands on her back with a thud, and looks up to see a small device dropping down.   
“Fire in the hole.” Crossbones says, satisfaction evident as he closes the hatch.   
Acting fast, Nat opens the door using another guard just at the explosion goes. She coughs as the smoke fills her lungs, as she lay still on the grass.   
Steve hears the commotion and without hesitation runs out to the balcony.   
“Natasha!” He calls fearing the worst.   
She looks up and their eyes connect for a quick second, before her green ones grow in panic.   
“Steve!” The redhead calls.   
His neck snaps to see Rumlow firing a weapon at him. Acting fast, he lifts his shield. The blast sends him back, but he’s okay. And his shoulders lose tension as he realizes Natasha is too. 

They find themselves in the market minutes later. Natasha and Sam are working on retrieving the payload from the lab, as Steves come face to face with Rumlow. DOdging and landing a few punches here and there Steve got him where wanted him. The man was on his knees as Steve gripped his collars demanding answers.   
“Who's your buyer?” Captain America demanded shaking him with force.   
Rumlow smirked, as a his communication device sounded.   
“The redhead got it.” An accented muffled voice said.   
Steve removed the comm and crushed it in his hands dropping it to the ground. Rumlow began to laugh.   
“God Rogers it's been how long, and you’re still as predictable as you were in DC.” He laughed.   
Steves brows furrowed.   
“You’re still dragging her along with you, and she still follows. And what for? Your, pal, your buddy, Bucky.” He bit out.   
Steve’s rage grew as he continued to speak.   
“He remembered you. I was there. He got all weepy about it. Till they put his brain back in a blender.” The hydra agents smile grew as the words came out.   
Steve gritted his teeth.   
“He said to me… please, tell Rogers, when you gotta go, you gotta go.” He said changing his voice for added effect.   
“And you’re coming with me.” He spat out, as he clicked the button on the detonator.   
Before Steve could move or process anything. The explosion was contained as red emminated around Rumlows body, now up in flames. Wanda elevated him into a building as it went up in ruins, and Rumlow along with it.   
\---- 

Natasha groaned as she stretched her arms ever so slightly above her head, still a bit sore from the battle yesterday. She didn’t have the willpower to open her heavy lids all the way as the sun shined brightly and filled the room. However, there was a shadow that was blocking some of the light from where it peered through the blinds.   
“Steve.” Her sleep deprived voice echoed.   
Her emerald green eyes were now fully open and she propped herself up on her arms. He turned from where he was sitting on the edge of the bed, he was still donned in his pajamas. Which consisted of a bare chest and navy blue flannel pants, the glint of hs dog tags around his neck was evident.   
“Hey.” He smiled turning to face her.   
The smile seemed forced and a bit sad.  
Sitting straighter she scooted forward and timidly placed a hand on his vare shoulder .  
“What’s going on?” The spy asked sincerely, mimicking his words from all those years ago.   
“Nothing.” He shook his head.   
Nat still didn’t believe it. The soldiers lying improved, but could never pass her.   
“Steve.” The redheaded pleaded.   
He sighed, and shifted so his entire body was facing her own.   
“There were a lot casualties.” He answered simply, his head bowing down.   
“You’re right there were, but that’s not what's bothering you.” She answers cokcing her head to the side.   
“It's bothering Wanda.” The blonde replied.   
“Maybe so, and we’ll deal with that. But, I asked about you.” Natasha said softly her hand dropping from his shoulder and finding one of his hands.   
“Aren’t you always honest?” She teased genelty.   
His head snaps up, a small smiles ghosting his lips as his blue eyes bore into his own.   
“It was Rumlow, something he said.” Steve begins.  
“He said… he said that Bucky remembered me back in Washington, that he knew me on the bridge.” Steve sighed his eyes become glassy.   
A tear slipped from his eye before he could control it, and Natasha wiped it with the pad of her thumb gently.   
“He’s still in there.” She offered.   
“Is he?” Steve questioned back, his eyes meeting her own again.   
“You know he is.” Nat stated.   
“Do you?” He asked.   
“You believe it, and that's enough.” She responded simply.   
He nodded slowly, but his head dropped again.   
“That’s not all, is it?” But, she already knew the answer.   
“Is this worth it to you? Following me everywhere to find a man that nearly took your life. You could be doing so much more.” Steve asked running a free hand through his hair.   
“Rumlow is a dick. Don’t listen to anything he says about me, we never got along.” She tried to make a joke.   
Steve didn’t laugh.  
“Is it?” He emphasized.   
Natasha gulped.   
“It is. I promise you that.” She says.  
His eyes stare into her own, his are full of so much love and adoration, and hers look like they’re filled with fear the confession.   
She lays back, and grabs him by the chain of his tags.   
“Come on, try to rest.” She ordered.   
“Ross is stopping by soon, he has something to…” Steve began.   
“I said rest soldier.” She hushes.   
Steve pulls the smaller body flush against his own, and does just as she says. 

\---

Ross briefly explain the importance of the Hero Registration Act, left them a thick packet, and told them all to sign. With that he left. Each Avenger picked up the pages and read. Steve decided to keep his mouth shut until after he read it through. However, he couldn’t help but look up as Vision began to explain numbers of crimes and casualties. When Visions spiral was over, he casted his eyes backed to the words when Nat’s voice stopped him.   
“Tony.” She drawled.   
Stark at her through the crack of his fingers he laid over his eyes.   
“You're being uncharacteristically non-hyperverbal.” She grinned.   
“It’s because he’s already made up his mind.” Steve butted in, neither of this eyes leaving iron man.   
Tony gets up and begins to tell the group about Charlie Spencer, one of many casualties during their time in Sokovia. Sure Steve’s heart aches at the tale, but he's fought for freedoms and ideals for years. Who would he be to give them all up now? Not when it feels wrong to him.   
“Tony, someone dies on your watch, you don’t give up.” He interrupts.   
“Who said we’re giving up?” Stark challenged.  
“We are if we’re not taking responsibility for our actions This document just shifts the blame.” He points out.   
“I’m sorry Steve, that is dangerously arrogant. This is the United Nations we’re talking about. It’s not the World Security Council, it’s not Shield, it’s not Hydra.” Rhodey names.   
Steve cuts him off.   
“No, but it’s run by people with agendas, and agendas change.” Steve says knowing all too well how these things work, see his run in with Shield, or later revealed Hydra.   
Steve and Tony continue to argue, and neither budge. Natasha knows what she has to do, and is scared for Steve’s response.   
“Maybe Tony’s right.” She says with a shaky breath.   
Her eyes meet Steves.   
“If we have one hand on the wheel, we can still steer. If we take it off…” She starts.   
Sam cuts her off.   
“Aren’t you the same woman who told the government to kiss her ass a few years ago?” Sam interjects.  
Nat glares, and continues.   
“I’m just reading the terrain. We have made some very public mistakes.”   
Steve continues to watch her, he was there when her files hit the internet. He saw how it affected her, he ached with her for that time.   
“We need to win their trust back.” She finishes.   
His eyes still bore into her own. Again he is reminded of that moment in Sam’s guest bedroom. He’s reminded of how hard she fought for everyone's trust, and the value is held to her.   
Tony speaks, but Steve doesn’t listen. His phone buzzes in his pocket, which is odd. Anyone who ever contacts him is in the room. His eyes scan the message, and he pushes himself from the table.   
Everyone watches him exit.   
“Should one of us?” Vision asks.   
Natasja turns to the group.   
“I got it.” She smiles sadly as she goes to him. 

\---  
It takes her a while to reach his room, with it being on the other end of the tower and all. However, she runs to the room she's become so accustomed to. She knows he upset with the accords, she knows they need to talk one on one. What she did not know is that when she reached his room, he would be gone. His clothes were scattered all over the floor, and his go bag was gone. In a panic, she races back to the common area, not realizes the build up of tears in her eyes.   
No more running, not without you.   
The promise weighs heavy on her mind as she reaches the conference table.   
“Natasha?” Wanda asked.   
“It’s Steve.” She chokes out.   
Sam springs from his seat.   
“He’s gone.” She cries out.   
Sams in her in a second catching her before she falls. Sometimes the two of them pissed Sam off, but the only reason why they were so frustrating is because they were in love. They were two stubborn idiots who wouldn't admit to each other.   
“Hey Nat, its okay. I’ll try calling him, how about you sit.” Sam said ushering her to the sofa.   
Her body was shaking as Sam dialed Steve’s number, it went straight to voicemail. Stepping out of ear shot, Sam spoke into the phone:   
“Dammit Steve I know everything is a lot right now, but you left her man. She’s a mess, she needs you, and you and I both know, you need her too. So for god’s sake, call one of us.” Sam said clicking off.   
He sighed and went back to Nat. He rubbed a hand over her shoulder and began to remind her of their time in Japan from a mission not that far back, and she managed a smile.   
“Okay… what?” Tony whispered to Rhodey confused.   
Rhodey furrowed his brows to Iron Man.   
“She just lets Wilson do that? I once asked her if she wanted help walking after she broke her leg and she told me to fuck off.” Tony explained.   
Rhodey chuckled slightly and turned to his friend.   
“It’s Steve… I know Sam and I called a lot and joked about them but its real. Whatever it is its real.” Rhodey said to Tony as he turned to leave.   
“Hey how about I check to see if Steve’s still got that tracker.” Sam said getting up and patting her shoulder.   
Tony watched, normally Natasha was doing the quick thinking.   
She nodded to acknowledge Sams remark and planted both hands over her face.   
Stark continued to observe her. He had known Natasha longer than Steve had and never once saw her crumble like this. He felt for the red head he really did. When Pepper said they needed a break, it broke his heart, but at least she had the decency to tell him where she was headed.   
He plopped down next to her.   
“Nat.” He said.   
Her head turned to meet his eyes, his empathetic eyes. Natasha broke down and sobbed loudly. Tony wrapped an arm around his friend, and as a hand ran through her hair.   
“It’s okay Nat. You’re okay.” He hushes as he planted a chaste kiss to her crown.   
To his shock, she just clung onto him tighter.   
Tony knew that she must really harbor strong feelings for Steve. 

\---  
Sam returned a half hour later saying that the tracker was still in his bedroom. With that the three sat in silence on the couch, both on either side of Natashas as they watched a movie. An hour into whatever horrible film Tony picked out, her phone rang and she sprung from her spot.   
“Steve?” She cried.   
“Nat.” His hoarse voice said on the other end.   
“You promised me.” Natasha said biting her lip to repress a sob.   
“I’m sorry, but she’s gone Nat…” She heard him whisper, barely audible.   
Her breath hitched.   
“Steve…” Her voice trailed, heart breaking for him.   
“I need you.” He said simply, his voice more confident and clear.   
“I’m coming.” He responded.  
“I’ll send you details… thank you Nat.” Steve said almost shyly.   
“You never have to thank me.” She whispered so the prying ears wouldn’t hear.   
With that the line went silent.   
She turned on her heel to face the pair.   
“So?” Tony asked.   
Her phone beeped and she read the message. Once done, she answered.   
“London. I need to go to London.” She said shakily, as she began to walk away.   
Tony and Sam exchanged a look and ran after her.   
“Natasha Vienna, you’re supposed to be in Vienna in two days.” Tony reminded.   
“It doesn’t matter.” She said loosely   
“Uh, it does.” Tony fought.   
“It doesn’t!” She yelled stopping and turning to them.   
There was a long pause.   
“What happened?” Sam asked calmly.   
“Steve needs me…” She swallows the lump in her throat.   
“Peggy’s gone.” She finished.   
Tony looks a little hurt, as Sam’s head drops.   
“You can take the jet.” Tony offers as he walks away/. 

\---

Sam came with Natasha. The three of them had been through hell and back together, and this time would be no different.   
When they landed in London Tony had managed to book them a hotel room nearby the services, and a few doors down from Steve. The pair hauled their luggage to the expensive room, as Sam texted Steve they arrived, and headed to take a shower. While Sam was cleaning up a knock sounded on the door.   
“You can leave the cart outside.” Natasha called from where she was sitting.   
The knock sounded again. She groaned the slightest bit and flew the door open. Her breath caught in her throat at the sight. Quickly pulling him inside and shutting the door, she hugged him.   
“I’m sorry I left.”   
“We found each other, that’s what matters.” She whispered back as his head rested in the crook of her neck. 

Minutes passed and once Steve’s breathing became less erratic him and Natasha sat at the end of the bed.   
“How are you holding up.” She said her hand finding his arm and rubbing gently.   
“Its surreal.” He answers.   
Sucking in a breath he continues.   
“I’ve moved on,” He doesn’t know why he says it but he feels like he has to.   
At the words Natasha’s heart jumps.   
“But that doesn’t change how important she was to me. When I woke up and they told me Bucky was gone, I was ruined. Then I found out she was alive. I was happy for her, that she got a family, and she was always there to remind me of the past. Now that she’s gone… I feel out of place all over again.” He explains.   
“That’s not true. You have Bucky.” Natasha points out.   
“Do I?” He asks sadly.   
“You will Steve. I’ll see to it.” She promises.   
A long pause carries out as Steve nods slowly.   
“Thank you for coming.” He says.   
“I told you, you don’t need to thank me.” The redhead says as her eyes meet his.   
He begins to lean in, as Natashas long lashes flutter as her eyes close.   
There lips centimeters apart as their breath mingles in the small space between them. Just as they’re about to brush over one another the bathroom door flies open and they jump apart.  
A clueless Sam Wilson appears offering Steve a weary smile. It takes everything in Steve’s power not to hit his friend.   
“Hey man I’m sorry.” He says gently.   
Steve nods his head and offers a tight lipped smile in response.   
The tension in the air is palpable between Steve and Natasha as they avert one another gazes.   
“How about Breakfast?” Sam asks clearing his throat.   
The soldier and the spy nod as they put their shoes on and leave. 

\----  
The service is that afternoon. It’s lovely and Steve knows its what Peggy would have wanted. He also discovers Agent Carter, happens to be Peggy’s niece and has kind words to say about her late Aunt. He only manages a few tears during the funeral as Sam and Natasha are on either side of him. Sometime in, his larger hand finds Natasha’s seemingly smaller one providing comfort.   
When things are coming to a close and everyone stands. Steve however, remains still. When Nat and Sam tell him it's time to go, he shoos them off and says he needs a few minutes alone, to which the pair respects. 

\---

Stebe stands in the vast staring at the picture of a younger Peggy Carter. He smiles recalling a conversation they had sometime after he joined shield. 

“Steve, you’re back so soon.” She smiled as he walked.   
He can tell she's having a good day.   
He smiled back and took a seat at her bedside.   
“No plans?” The older woman asks her eyes crinkling at the deep set wrinkles.   
“I’m supposed to have dinner with Nat later, but I had an hour to kill.” He replies.   
“Natasha.” Peggy teases with a raised eyebrows.   
“Stop.” He laughs.   
“You two been spending a lot of time together?”   
Steve doesn’t know if she's asking because of her foggy memory or trying to get a rise out of him. Nonetheless he answer.   
“I guess we have lately.”   
“It’s okay Steve.” She replies grabbing his hand and giving it a squeeze.   
“Huh?” He asked confused.   
“It’s okay to love her.” She confirms.   
Steve stares at Peggy with wide eyes, causing a laugh from her.  
“I lived my life. I fell in love, had a beautiful family, and you deserve the same. You and I both know you want that with Natasha.” Peggy explains.   
Steve had yet to come to complete terms with his feelings for his partner, but in that moment he did. This was love, and now he couldn’t deny it.   
“I would like that.” He responds softly.   
“I would like that for you too.” She smiles.   
After that Peggy enters a coughing fit and Steve grabs her the water and draws it to her lips, and she takes a sip.   
“Thank you dear. Do you mind getting Daniel for me? I’ve been asking him to get me the cough syrup for a damned week.” Peggy says, the moment slipping away.   
Steves chest burns a bit. This happens more often now, her mind goes somewhere else, and all he can manage is a nod.  
“Bye Peg.” He says with a smile leaving. 

He snaps out of the memory as a pair of heels click toward him. His eyes turn to meet her own as he walked forward dressed in black.   
“When I came out of the ice, I thought everyone I had known was gone. Then I found out she was alive. I was just lucky to have her.” He said mimicking some of the conversation from the morning.   
“She had you back too.” Nat assured.   
“You know she told me to move on, find a life for myself. I’ve been trying and feel like I could be getting there, but this accords thing. I feel like it's bigger than we think.” He explained.   
Natasha looked at her feet a bit sad.   
“Who else signed?” He asked after a beat.   
“Tony, Rhodey, Vision.” She said the last name with a cocked eyebrow.   
“Clint?”   
“Says he's retired.”  
“Wanda?” He asked.   
“TBD.”   
“I’m off to Vienna for the signing of the accords. There’s plenty of room on the jet.” She begins  
“Just because it's the path of least resistance doesn’t mean it’s the wrong path. Staying together is more important than how we stay together.” She says inching closer.   
The words have an unspoken meaning.   
Don’t let me walk away. I can’t do this without you.   
“What are we giving up to do it?” He questions.   
If you go what does this mean for us?   
His head drops.   
“I’m sorry Nat, I can’t sign it.”   
I wish I could do it for you, but I just can’t. It isn’t right.   
“I know.”   
I know you. And you’ll still be my partner.   
“Well then what are you doing here?”   
What does this mean for us?   
“I didn’t want you to be alone?”  
You’re never alone.   
With that Natasha Steps forward and wraps her arms around his neck.   
“Come here.” She whispers as his arms snake around her torso. 

\---  
Natasha didn’t want to go to Vienna. It had nothing to do with the accords but the prospect of leaving Steve alone right now killed her. However, she had her hands tied with Ross and Stark breathing down her neck and Steve knew the fact. He told her it was okay, and Sam had stayed behind with them. She had been engaged in conversation with Prince T’Challa and his father King T’Chaka of Wakanda.   
“I’m sad to hear that Captain Rogers won’t be joining us today.” The king said.   
Natasha smiles sadly at the words.   
“Yeah so am I.” Is all she managed before taking her seat. 

\----  
Steve found himself on the jet to Vienna moments after reports the attack. It took them no time already being in Europe. His mind raced a million places, first was Natasha. She had been inside at the meeting was she okay? He called twelve times and got no response. Next qas Bucky, I mean he wasn’t crazy even Sam said it looked like him on the television. Once landed he went right to the accident sight, his eyes finding Natasha’s. He was in a baseball cap and glasses, a trick Natasha had taught him. He knew Ross was going to come for him sooner or later since he had refused to sign, and with things recurring with Bucky. Ross was planning to make him sign and Steve would evade it as long as he could.   
As his eyes scanned the crowd they landed on Natasha, she looked a little dirty and shaken up, but nothing severe. She was speaking to another man who just walked away, giving Steve a good window to call.   
“Yeah?” She answered.   
“You alright?” He asked first.   
“Yeah, thanks. I, I uh got lucky.” She told him.   
Through the phone were the same sirens she heard from feet away, he was nearby. And god she wanted to say something, to find him, but she had no idea who could be on this call, Stark told her Ross was coming for Steve and she was sure as hell going to keep him away.   
“I know how much Barnes means to you, I really do.”   
And it's true. She knows better than anyone else, she’s been searching for him the longest and been there every step of the wya.   
“Stay home. You’ll only make this worse, for all of us.” She explains.   
“Please.” She’s almost begging and his heart pulls.   
“You saying you’ll arrest me?” He meant it to be teasing but it comes out more serious then he’d like.  
“No.” She said immediately.   
He sighs at the concession.   
“Someone will if you interfere. That's how it works now.  
“If he’s this far gone Nat, I should be the one to bring him in.”  
“Why?” She asks without a beat.   
I thought we were in this together.   
“Because I’m the one least likely to die trying.” He responds as his eyes land on hers in the distance.   
He hung up, and it broke his heart. They promised they were in this together, and he broke that promise. But he’d be damned if he let her get hurt or worse on account of him.   
When the line clicked Natasha ran as fast as her legs could take her into the crowd searching for Steve. She was willing to risk it all, follow him. However, she never found him, and he heart broke, as the tears ran down her cheeks.   
He broke their promise. 

\---  
Steve finds Bucky in Bucharest. It could've gone better if the man in the catsuit hadn't been chasing the pair, but they were running, and they were doing it together. Steve did his bets to remain composed and focus on the wild goose chase but he knew that this was right, and he waited years just to get a small sense of this feeling. He can’t help but let Natasha and Sam cross his mind, and it almost hurts, they should be here too. 

When they catch the pair, they throw him into a truck with Sam, Bucky whisked away elsewhere. He hears whispers about Berlin on the long ride, and behind them the entire duration is a very pissed off T’Challa to remind them of what Bucky’s done, or what Steve let him get away with by not acting sooner. 

Once brought into the base they syrup Steve of his armor and beloved shield. He sighs heavily as Bucky is being restrained. The guards escort him and Sam as Agent Carter and Everett give them some political rant and ethical rant. ot god knows where when he sees a familiar frame strutting toward him.   
“For the record, this is what making things worse looks like.” She informs.  
Steve almost melts at the voice, bringing him some calm.   
She smirks over her shoulder and his heartbeats faster.   
“He’s alive.” Is all Steve can manage in that moment.   
And he wants to say more, he knows he should. He’s confused about what all of this means for him, for them.   
“Try not break anything while we fix this.” She says her voice growing angry as she leaves he and Sam in the conference room.   
They walk into an annoyed Tony on the phone.   
“Secretary Ross wants you both prosecuted. Had to give him something.” Toni points at the Captain and Falcon.   
“I’m not getting that shield back, am I?” He asks, fuck things are bad.  
“Technically it's the government's property. Wings too.” Natasha responds walking away with Tony, still seemingly mad at the soldier.   
“Thats cold!” Sam protests.   
“Warmer than jail.” Tony responds back turned as he rounds a corner.   
Steve sighs.   
“I-” Steve begins to Natasha, but she’s already gone.   
“Man you act like we’ve got all the time in the world.” Sam says almost bitterly in a whisper. 

\---  
Sam is taken somewhere else, and Steve's been alone for sometime, lost in thought. Tony comes in and begins to all sorts of things. Pepper, his suits, Ultron, his parents. The last subject makes Steve gulp, he knows the truth, and it scares him. Puts him in a compromising position with Iron Man and his best friend, who is currently the Winter Soldier. Steve doesn’t comment on the fact as Tony pleads for Steve to sign, and undue all that been done already. Things get heated when Steve finds out poor Wanda's been locked away.   
“I’m doing what has to be done. To stave off something worse.” Stark states simply.   
“You keep telling yourself that.” Steve says frustrated by the behavior.   
“Hate to break up the set.” The blonde says throwing down the pen.   
Steve turns to leave when Tony speaks again.   
“You really wanna do this to her?” He asks in the quiet air.   
Steve stops dead in his path, and stiffens. He knows exactly who she is, but plays dumb.   
“Huh?” He says turning with shaky hands as his voice falters.   
“Cut the bullshit Rogers, Natasha.” He states.   
Steve still looks confused at what Tony’s getting at.   
“You’re gonna tear her apart. Even if that isn't your intention we both know it's inevitable.” He bites out.   
Steve's face goes stoic.   
“What happens if she goes with you? Ross comes after her, reminds her of all the monsters in her closet. Or maybe your old pal Buck gets another crack at her.” Tony says.   
“Shut up.” Steve breathes.   
“Or she stays. Spends everyday alone thinking what she’s ruined, goes over and over in her head of what she could’ve done different. How she could’ve stopped this as the guilt eats her up.”   
“I said shut up!” Steve yells.   
“You’re selfish Rogers. When's the last time Romanoff had anything godo!” Tony yells standing to face Steve.   
He just glares back at Tony.   
“Huh? Now you’re mess up the equation. You either take her family from her, or you take her partner. I don’t know which would tear her apart more.” Iron Man challenges.   
“I said shut the fuck up!” Steve yells shoving Tony back.   
And just as Tony bumps into the conference table from the impact the rooms turns a scary hue of red as the alarms sound.   
“It’s the Winter Soldier.” Sharon Carter says barging into the room.   
Tony and Steve exchange a look before Steve bolts out of the room.   
“Rogers!” Tony yells after him.   
“There’s not time, we need to go.” Sharon says to Tony as they run off in the opposite direction.   
“What's going on?” Natasha says joining them in the run downstairs.   
“Barnes.” Tony says simply, as she follows along.   
“Please tell me you brought a suit.” Is all she manages as they enter the chaos.   
\---

They find Barnes in the cafeteria. He looks pissed and dull, as his shaggy hair covers the tops of his eyes. He's on a mission to do god knows what.   
Tony gets to him first releasing some sort of blast from his glove, throwing the man off balance for a moment. Tony reached for his gun, and as it goes off the bullet ricochets from his glove, but Tony’s eyes grow side as Barnes kicks him into a nearby table.   
Carter is next, landing a few nasty blows but nothing effective, the soldier throws her into a piece of furniture like she weighs nothing as Natasha jumps on his back. Her legs clamp around his neck as she punches him over and over. He places her onto a nearby table, his mechanical arm clawing around her neck.   
“You could at least recognize me.” She chokes out with barely any oxygen left.  
The last thing she sees is Bucky’s confused face before the world goes black.

T’Challa chases Barnes up a flight of stairs when Tony gets up. He sees Agent Carter doing the same as Natasha doesn’t even stir.   
“Red.” Tony calls walking over to her.   
Nothing.   
“Natasha.” his voice grows concerned.   
At the sight of her he drops to his knees as his fingers search for a pulse. Its barely there, and it's fading fast, so he begins CPR.   
“We need a medic!” He yelled petrified as he continues.   
Minutes later an ambulance shows up with a gurney and whisks her away, Tony following behind. 

\---  
Bucky's back and its Steves Bucky. He's not sure how long it’ll last, but he savors every moment. Bucky tells him about all the other Winter Soldiers as he remembers what he did.   
“The woman.” Bucky begins as he squints his eyes in thought.   
“With the red hair.” He elaborates.   
“Natasha?” Sam questions as if Bucky would know her name.   
“I didn’t mean too. I couldn’t stop it. For a second I was there, and the next I wasn’t, and I just-” Bucky cries.   
“You just?” Steve asks uncrossing his arms.   
“I don’t know if she was breathing. She stopped fighting and her eyes closed. I don’t know for sure.” Bucky explained.   
Steves heart dropped.   
“I’m sorry Steve.” He apologizes.   
This catches Steve off guard, how did he know?  
“What?” He said confused.   
“Hydra or whatever they briefed me on the two of you. Said her and I were your weakness, I know how much she meant to you.” Bucky informs.   
Again Steves heart is in his stomach at the realization.   
“I need to know if she’s okay.” He states.   
“Steve.” Sam warns.   
“No!” He bursts.   
“She’d do the same for me.” The blonde says knowingly. 

\----  
They contact Carter. They know Stark is a reach and that if Sharon was living next to him all those years and talking to Peggy she’d have an idea of him and his partner. She arrives and opens the trunk of her car, thats where Steve meets her.   
“Got these for you.” She says handing off the wings and shield.   
“Thank you.” He nods appreciatively.   
“But that’s not why you called.” She points out.   
“Not really, no.” He confesses as he nervously scratches the back of his neck.   
“It’s,” He begins.   
“Natasha.” They say in sync.   
He chuckles a little.   
“Yeah.” He tells her.   
“Is she okay?” Steve asked through a deep breath.   
“I think so, she woke up seconds after Tony did the CPR, and even tried to send the medics away.” Sharon explains.   
Steve chuckles at this, it was very Natasha.   
A silence falls over them, and Steve lifts his eyes to meet hers.   
“Do you think theres anyway I could see her? Before things get bad.” He asks hopeful.   
“I’m sorry, but I think it's too late for that. Tony isn’t gonna let up, and by the looks of it I’d say the same for you.” Sharon points out.   
Steve nods, knowing he created this mess.   
Seeing the sadness in the soldiers eyes, Sharon squeezes his shoulder gently before offering a tight lipped smile and walking away.   
He hears her engine start off, as he car drives off, he decides he should go back to his own vehicle but things weigh heavy on his mind. What his fate was, what his fate was for him and Natasha.   
He couldn’t ponder faster as Sam honked the obnoxiously loud horn. 

Getting back in the car Bucky leaned forward and looked at him.   
“Where to now?” He asks.   
“The airport.” Steve says as he puts the key in the ignition.   
\----

Following the attack at base Natasha finds herself regrouping with Ross and Tony. Her neck is sore and she imagines a very dark angry shade of purple. It hurts to even swallow, she imagines there's some sort of damage but doesn’t allow herself time to focus on it. She was never one to look out for herself and her own injuries, she usually had someone to do it for her, who cares, she usually had Steve.   
“I’m putting special ops on this.” Rosses cold voice breaks through the silence.   
Natasha is drawn from her daze.   
“And what happens when the shooting starts? What do you kill Steve Rogers?” She challenges, doing her best to keep her voice from faltering.   
“If we’re provoked…” The secretary begins.   
Tony’s eyes look to Natashas for some sort of reaction. She squirms uncomfortably as her fae drops.   
“Barnes would’ve been eliminated in Romania if it wasn’t for Rogers.” The man finishes.   
Before she or Tony can say anything his phone rings, and he excuses himself. 

Iron man plops down in the chair and offers Natasha a smile.   
“We have to face him.” Tony says.   
“I know.” Is all she manages.   
“Are you ready for that?” He questions sounding oddly concerned.   
“It doesn’t matter what I’m ready for.” The spy says codly.   
Tony’s mouth opens and she cuts him off.   
“Now about that idea you had in Queens.”   
He smirks. 

\---

Steve walks along the runway of the airport, Bucky right at his side. In the distance he spots red and black suits of armor. He knows these to be Rhodey and Tony. Sighing, as he reaches them, Stark speaks.   
“Wow it’s so weird how you run into people at the airport. Don’t you think that's weird?” He turns to Rhodes.   
“Definitely weird.” War machine responds.   
Of course, these two make a show of everything.   
“Hear me out Tony.” Steve says breaking apart the pair.   
“That doctor, the psychiatrist. He’s behind all of this.” Steve begins.   
Suddenly a figure leaps from behind, and he notes it as T’Challa.  
“Captain.” His voice is muffled from the suit.   
“Your highness.” Steve nods.   
“Anyway Ross gave me thirty six hours to bring you guys in. That was twenty four hours ago. Can you help a brother out?” Tony figures it's worth a try, spare some trouble, but he's fully aware of how stubborn the blonde is.   
“You’re after the wrong guy.”  
That is not the response Tony was looking for.   
“Your judgement is askew. Your old war buddy killed innocent people yesterday.  
“And there are five more super soldiers just like him. I can’t let the doctor find him Tony, I can’t.” Steve cuts him off.   
“Your buddy, Bucky, not only did he kill innocent people but he nearly killed Natasha.”   
Steve's face drops, and his chest burns.   
“Does that mean nothing to you?” Iron man spits.   
Steve is left breathless when a voice sounds behind him.   
“Steve.” Its hers.   
He knows it's only been a few days since he last heard it, but god he missed it. He missed her. Turning, he cringes at the sight of her purple neck and lets out a gasp.   
“I’m okay.” She manages a small smile of reassurance.   
His shoulders ease at the sight as he stares into her eyes, wanting nothing more than to wrap her in his arms. And for a minute he almost does, his feet move as he loosens the shield from his arms. That is until Stark ruins it.   
“Alright I’m bored. Underoos!” He yells out.   
Steve looks confused as some sort of web wraps around his hands and his shield is yanked as a small spider like figure latches onto it.   
And so it begins. 

\---

The battle ensues and when Steve has a moment to catch his breath his eyes can for her. Her back is turned to his as the red hair falls around her shoulders. Lang wraps a hand around her neck and Natasha is thrown off balance from recent events. She falls to the ground hard, and Steve can’t even resists the urge to go to her.   
“Nat.” He calls falling to his knees.   
She's clutching her neck desperately as she gasps for air.   
“Woah sorry man I thought she wasn’t with us.” Scott says sincelry.   
Steve just glares at him.   
“I’ll go be useful somewhere else.” Scott says going small and running off.   
“You alright?” Steve questions.   
He pulls Nat to his feet and she nods.   
“You can’t be doing that.” She gasps out.   
“What? Making sure you’re okay?” He says a bit annoyed.   
The redhead just stares at him wide eyed.   
“I don’t care who I’m fighting, it’ll just never be against you.” The soldier states seriously.   
Natasha is about to respond until T’Challa lunges at him, and he's thrown back. 

\---  
His back hits hard against on of the trucks as Bucky follows.   
“We gotta gp. That guys probably in Siberia by now.” He says.   
“We gotta draw out the flyers, I’ll take Vision. You get to the jet.” Steve responds, his eyes searching the sky.   
“No. You get to the jet. Both of you. The rest of us aren’t getting out of here.” Sam’s voice booms through the comms.   
“As much as I hate to admit it,” Clint’s says next.   
“If we’re gonna win this one. Some of us might have to lose it.” He finishes.   
Steve's head drops at the position, knowing its right.   
“This isn’t the real fight Steve.” Falcon tells.   
Steve turns his eyes so they meet Bucky's, sighting in defeat he speaks.   
“Alright Sam, what's the play?”   
“We need a diversion something big.” His friend answers.   
“I got something kinda big.” Lang says next. 

\---

Minutes later Scott is giant, something Steve's only seen in those Godzilla movies Natasha and he watched.   
It was a good distraction as Bucky and Steve sprinted to the launch strip. As they were a few hundred yards from the jet a familiar figure came struttin at the pair. Steve stopped dead in his tracks at the sight and Bucky followed.   
“You’re not gonna stop.” She says, it's not a question because she knows.   
“You know I can’t.” He responds.   
Huffing a loud gust of air, she raised her arm as her widow bite buzzes blue.   
“I’m gonna regret this.”   
Steve shuts his eyes tight. He meant what he said, no matter what the case he can’t bring himself to fight her. As he awaits the electric shock, it never comes. Instead a loud groan from over his shoulder.   
He turns in surprise to find T’Challa clutching his stomach where he's been hit.   
“Go.” Nat says sadly.   
Steve nods, and Bucky smiles in approval, as they run toward the jet. Natasha watches him go to the ramp, as her nose burns and a tear stings her eye. He's gone and neither got a goodbye. Hearing footsteps, she sees T’Challa making good headway, she shocks him again a tear leaves her eye.   
“Natasha!” It’s Steve. He should be on the jet.   
She spins around quick, she trips over herself and tumbles. Steves arms are around her before she can hit the ground.   
“What are you doing? You need to go!” She says her voice breaking.   
“Steve!” Bucky calls.   
The blonde doesn’t turn to his friend, instead he slants his lips over Natasha’s. She is shocked at first but responds as his hands go to cup her cheeks. She pulls away first for air, and the tears are still falling.   
“You promised.” She cried out.   
His hands stay on her cheeks as he pushes back some stray pieces of hair.   
“I’ll find you.” He tells her.   
“I’ll always find you.” He says his eyes growing glassy.   
He plants one more kiss atop her head before he’s sprinting to the jet. She watched it take off as her lips burned from where his once were. Unable to register what happened someone tackled her to the concrete. Their claws around her neck. Jesus, three times in two days?   
She was punching the figure as she was losing air. His hands grew weaker and she took the chance to fling him off her.   
“I said I’d help you find him. Not catch him. There’s a difference.”

\---  
Steve stared out the window longingly and Bucky noted the fact.   
“I promised her.” His voice broke.   
The brunette was confused by the statement, but decided not to push it.   
“I don’t know if I’m worth all this.” Bucky says.   
“You are.” Steve promises.   
“How would you know?” He retorts.   
“Because I’m not the only one who thinks so.” The blonde answers.   
He smiles sadly as he recalls the conversation they had days ago after things with Rumlow.   
Clutching the wheel, he knows what he has to do. Go to Siberia. Take down the threat. Make good on his promise to Natasha. 

\---

Natasha races to the hospital worried for Rhodey’s health. She sees Tony who looks royally pissed off at her, she scoffs as nods her head to a nearby hallway so they can speak.   
“How is he?” She asked with genuine concern.   
“The doctors say he shattered l-four through s-one. Extreme laceration to the spinal cord. Probably looking at some form of paralysis.” Tony explains sadness evident in his voice.   
Natasha sighs. She knows her next words probably won’t be music to Tony’s ears, but it's inevitable. She convinced herself that her head is in the right place, with the accords, and that may be. But her heart is with Steve, no matter what the circumstance, it's just time she notes the fact.   
“Steves not gonna stop. If you don’t either Rhodey’s gonna be the best case scenario.” She points out turning to face him.   
His eyes are still glued to the landscape.   
“You let them go Nat. And for what? A school girl fantasy.” He spits.   
“We played this wrong.” She ignored the jb knowing he's going through a lot.   
“We?” He almost laughs.   
“Boy it must be hard to shake the whole double agent thing, huh? Sticks in the DNA.”  
Her heart beats faster, because that one hurt, more than she wants to let on.   
“Are you incapable of letting go of your ego for one goddamn second?” The woman argues, trying not say worse.   
“Whatever. It’s just a matter of time before Rogers realizes the same. Not like he could ever love anyone like you anyway. So what he gave you a little kiss on the helicarrier? Made a few promises? It’s a pipe dream Romanoff. You and I know that better than anyone.” He tells her.   
And he knows its low, but what else can he say? He’s been hurt by so many people in the past few days, it's hard to accept that she feels the same.   
Silence comes over them as she bites her lip to stop its quivering.  
He clears his throat.   
“T’Challa told Ross what you did so, they're coming for you/” Tony says with a broken voice.   
“I’m not the one that needs to watch their back.” Natasha says turning to leave.   
As she runs from the facility with nothing from a few items in tow she realizes what heartbreak feels like because she knows there's not looking back. 

\---

Siberia was a nightmare. Steve knows that all he can do now is focus on the future rather than the past. The threats been dealt with, but now he's wanted fugitive for god's sake, and he has zero experience on the run. His first priority is putting Bucky somewhere where he can’t hurt anyone else. T”Challa takes him with open arms and apologise which saves Steve a headache. Next, he finds himself at the raft where he successfully gets all his friends out. 

They’re on the jet to Wakanda, everyone in decent health when Sam speaks.   
“What now Cap?”   
“Now I need to repay a debt.” The captain states a bit sad.   
Clint smiles sadly to the soldier.   
“She’s hard to find.” He says.   
“Good thing I don’t give up.” Steve answers. 

It kills him to know she’s out there alone. Not only that but he needs her because he’s willing to accept now, that it’s always going to be the ones he loves.  
It’s always going to be her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this was over emotional? But it felt right to me. Everyone during this time was dealing with so much loss and unexpected events that they coped differently. Natasha showed more sadness, Steve stuck with determination, and Tony turned to anger. This may have been rocky but I have BIG plans. Please, please, please review because next chapter I have big plans for.   
> Hint: Steve looking for Natasha as she has doubts that Steve even wants to see her after her encounter with Tony.   
> To keep up with me in between updates you can follow my editing account on instagram @stevercgrs!   
> Please review!
> 
> IMPORTANT: I have been working on an endgame fix-it fic because I'm sad. The plot is this (spoiler): Steve retrieves Natasha from the soul stone and they return back to regular time. Bringing her back as emotional repercussions as her mind becomes emotionally linked to the stones. Basically she gets memories of those who turned to dust and even is able to communicate with Tony. Its draining on her but our favorite super soldier is there to help as he builds the courage to say those three words :) What do you guys think? I didn't explain the plot well, let me know if you have questions/suggestions.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all like it, comment if you did :)  
> As for my story Baggage, I have NOT quit it. I am actively working on it but took a step back because sometimes writing more canon pieces help me remember their traits better so no fear!


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